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Those post-nuptial conditions

Most couples have tacit terms and conditions that the spouse has to adhere to. Sujata Reddy on terms and issues set by couples at the time of marriage...

sex and relationships Updated: Feb 25, 2009 16:14 IST

Most couples have tacit terms and conditions that the spouse has to adhere to. A friend would threaten his wife not to call him before 10 pm. A crime journalist by profession, Rishi Narayan would be out on the field and did not take kindly to his wife Sheila’s concern.

“I know she is worried, but constant phone calls disturb me. So I’ve banned her from calling me before 10 pm. On days I’m late, I invariably get a call at 10:01 pm,” Rishi laughed.

Worried note
His wife got even with him too. On days, Rishi got home late, he treated Sheila to a sumptuous dinner. “It’s a small price for him to pay, for the trauma I have to go through.. imagine not being able to call him even if I am worried,” defends Sheila.

At first, Rishi’s demand seemed selfish. It sparked a debate among his friends. How can he behave like that.. he’s such an MCP, we thought. But this was the one rule Rishi laid down for his parents and all those who called to check if he is all right each time the TV channels aired a violent incident in the city. Viveik Dixit, 28, has been in six relationships till date and feels that the key to any relationship is communication and keeping oneself happy first.

One cannot make another happy, if they are not. “The calls must bother Rishi a lot, which is why he had to take a stand and tell his loved ones to lay off,” he tried to analyse. “There is no point in Rishi taking 10 calls a day, pacifying friends and family members that he is safe and sound. If there is a problem, the house members will get a call anyway, so why worry each day?” Viveik explained as if he cracked a puzzle for us.

But not the kind to be so easily convinced, my friends and I felt that it was not done. The girls stepped into Sheila’s shoes and said that they wouldn’t tolerate this kind of behaviour for one second. The guys put themselves in Rishi’s shoes and came to the conclusion that though his approach was rigid, he was left with little choice. A girls versus boys fight ensued and the café soon seemed like a battle field.

All’s fair
The squabble ended when it dawned that if Rishi and Sheila have made truce with their shortcomings and still love each other, who are we to comment otherwise?