Do you recall the first fight you had with your best friend? There are chances that it must have been over something silly — you didn’t like the comment she made on your new dress, your boyfriend complimented her on her looks or she refused to accompany you to the mall — it could have been anything. But the chances are that after patching up , you have gotten even closer.
It’s the same with your boyfriend or spouse. Your first fight must have been over something you wept over but after making up, it seemed too trivial.
The first fight is also a great learning experience — how the opposite person reacts, who makes up first and gives an insight into the person’s behaviour.
Vijayalakshmi and Devyani were good friends in college. A minor argument led to a quarrel and they refused to talk to each other till the farewell party in the final year of college. Once they patched up, they studied together till their post-graduation.
“I think we are immature during our school and college days. Once we tide over arguments and realise the value of friendship then we take everything in our stride.”
Gayatri, who also argued with a friend over a boyfriend, says, “My boyfriend dropped Nita, a close friend of mine, home. I was so angry but instead of fighting with the guy, I had a big quarrel with Nita. We didn’t speak to each other for a month. We patched up after that and are friends now. And, the boyfriend disappeared from the scene long ago.”
Gayatri remembers how she missed Nita during that one month when they were not talking to each other, “I missed talking to her over the phone at any time of the day. Then I realised that it was foolish to lose a friend over a trivial issue. So I made the first move to talk to her.”
Even with your spouse, there are chances that the first fight is taken too seriously and each partner refuses to talk to the other. But once they make up, they bond and their relationship is strengthened.
Valerie and Steven were going steady for a year. Then they had their first major fight. Steven reveals, “I spent many sleepless nights. Finally I couldn’t take it any more and I apologised to her. Later, I proposed to her. We’re getting married soon.”
Counsellor Vinaya Bhosekar says, “Fighting is a part of life. It’s healthy in small doses. But one should to keep it in check. Don’t make fights and arguments a part of your life. Find a solution to the argument and make peace or things go out of control.”
So keep a safe distance in relationsThose hips.. don’t encroach on each other’s space. There will be fewer fights and you will also respect one another.