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Tips to get over your ex

sex and relationships Updated: Mar 13, 2010 16:36 IST
Seema Hingor Rany
Seema Hingor Rany
Hindustan Times
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CoupleIt’s never easy when a significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split, whether or not you wanted it, the break up can turn your whole world upside down. But there are things you can do to get through this predicament. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of a break up, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person. Here are some effective tips for coping with a break up. These are sure to make you feel much better.

Dealing with a relationship split requires mental preparation, attitude, faith, and the commitment that you will not be afraid of the things you want in life. Change your mindset. When breaking up, it’s time to move forward. No more living in the past, it’s time to live in the present and always have the future in mind. Develop goals, things you want to do.

Here’s how

Cry out. Rather than bottle up your emotions, it is safer to give them an outlet by allowing yourself to grieve. Reach out to friends and family for moral support – this could help you overcome the grief. Do not remain isolated, for it could increase your depression. Always try to remain in the company of your loved ones.

Allow yourself to heal. Do not throw yourself into new relationships immediately after a split. Pent up emotions will almost always give you the wrong reasons to forge new relationships. Look for new relationships only when you can look back on the broken one without pain. When the time is right you will know. But as already mentioned, the thing to do is take things slowly.

Seek professional help. If turning to loved ones is not a possibility, seek professional help. Speaking with a relationship counsellor can help you understand your feelings and cope with your loss, thus helping you to move on.

Rediscover an old hobby. When involved in a relationship, we let go of certain hobbies or activities that we loved doing, for the sake of that ‘special person’. After a break up, you need to live life on your own terms, so take up your old hobby.

Eliminate anything that reminds you of your ex. This is really important. Let go of everything that makes you think of your past. Get your stuff back from your former partner, and return all of hers or his. If you must hold on to some things because you can’t bear the thought of throwing them out, then get a box, dump it all in there and put it away in a place where you won’t see it.

Know it isn’t because you’re inadequate. After a break up, you might feel it was your fault. You might also feel insecure, vulnerable, sad, and this might make you feel a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. You may feel that no one will love you again. Go to a personal development workshop that will boost a positive self-image. You’ll also meet new people there.