Several men move out of their parents’ homes after marriage, citing various reasons, including the need for privacy. But, in India, a majority still follows the age-old Indian convention of continuing to live in their family home even after tying the knot.
A recent survey conducted by shaadi.com corroborates this fact. Out of 3,952 single men who participated in the survey, 54.3% said they would like to stay with their parents post marriage. On the other hand, when 4,617 women were asked for their preferences, 64.1% said they would wish to live only with their husbands. This trend seems to be prevalent across all sections of society for various reasons.
Kalpesh Naik, 32, an HR consultant, got married four years ago, and has a two-yearold son. He did not want to leave his parents’ home as he felt that they could take care of his son while he and his wife were away at work.“I did not want my son to be left with a nanny, as I don’t trust outsiders. However, my wife wanted us to live separately, and we had disagreements for over a year, but eventually, my views prevailed,” says Naik.
For BPO employee Niranjan Mukesh, safety was the deciding factor, as he works late at night. Was staying with his parents the only option he considered? The 29-year-old says, “Moving in with my in-laws was out of the question; it would have hurt my reputation in society. Staying with my parents does infringe upon our privacy, but it’s the best option.” Mukesh adds that in spite of his wife having differences with his family, she supports his decision.
But not all women subscribe to the same view. Nirav Agarwal, 34, who works for an equity firm, got married three years back, and brought his wife to his parental home. Soon, his wife and mother started disagreeing over petty issues, causing the former to move out. “She says she won’t return. I’ve tried convincing her to move back, but she isn’t agreeing,” says Agarwal, explaining that while he still feels living with his parents is a good idea, his wife wants them to move out.
Old habits die hard
Rahul Makwana, a 30-yearold bank employee, moved into a new flat with his wife after they got married. But a few months later, he started missing his family. He was worried about them so much that his parents soon moved in with him. Did that go down well with his wife? “She hasn’t stayed with my parents in the past, but she was okay with the idea of them living with us. There have been no problems between them so far. I hope it stays this way.”
The other story
However, not all men feel that staying with their parents is an ideal option. Ivan James, 35, who works for a travel firm, got married three years back, and has been staying only with his wife ever since. He says there are advantages to staying away from your parents.
“They are very possessive of their kids. They interfere with every little thing, and would want every detail of your daily life. So, with interference from your parents life could get difficult. This is why I decided to stay separately after marriage.”
(All names changed on request)