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Will you torment your ex to avenge?

sex and relationships Updated: Oct 28, 2012 00:19 IST
Debasmita Ghosh
Debasmita Ghosh
Hindustan Times
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After a bitter breakup, while some go into depression and some move on, a number of people get into the mode of revenge — if not directly, then indirectly. Say for instance country singer Taylor Swift uses her songs to get back at her old flames. Remember her hit number, We are never ever ever getting back together...? The 22-year-old, who has dated Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner and John Mayer in the past, says, “I made a song that I knew would absolutely drive him crazy when he heard it on the radio.”

Taylor is not the only one. Tormenting the ex seems like a common habit. Ridhhima Sen, a banker, says that she enjoys flirting with other men in office in front of her ex, who’s also her colleague. “He’s the one who dumped me so now I want to show him that it’s actually he who didn’t deserve me... there are many who’d die to date me,” says Sen. On the other hand, Nirmika Nair, an MBA student, who’s dating her ex-boyfriend’s best friend, says, “I enjoy seeing the expression on (her ex) Amit’s face whenever three of us meet. That expression of regret on his face, of losing me, makes me feel better.”

Relationship expert Jai Madan says that it is true that some people get a kick by tormenting their ex. “It’s their way of showing that ‘See, I can be happy even without you’. Such behavior is seen in the person who has been dumped. By indulging in public display of affection they show that they already have another person in their life,” says Madan, adding, “It’s also a way of conveying to their ex that ‘hey you anyways didn’t deserve me’.”