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Winds of change

Like all relationships, friendship too undergoes transformation. Asmita Sinha on the changing equations in the bonding.

sex and relationships Updated: Jun 21, 2008 10:02 IST
Asmita Sinha

Friends, the tele-serial, is a favourite with many women like me. Living in a high pressure urban set-up, close friends mean the world to us.

Whether it's a shoulder to cry, or celebrate an occasion, or discuss troubles or seek advice, we turn to friends than to relatives. <b1>

Neeta, a close friend can't praise her friends enough. They supported her throughout the period when her marriage was facing tough times due to inlaws and her husband's health issues.

They gave her physical and emotional support by spending time with her family. They created a safe and normal environment for her to leave her children when she had to go out.

Ceaseless support
But like all relationships, friendship too undergoes a transformation over time. Equations change and these changes are hurtful.

As children grow up and careers kick into high gear, it becomes difficult to coordinate time together.

Thin veneer
Hearing a ‘no' or ‘maybe later' bothers Neeta. It has left her feeling as if she is the only one who wants to meet up with friends.

The other day, at a lunch at Neeta's house, a friend arrived late. Soon after she arrived Neeta, in jest, commented "Aaj kal bahut bhav khaa rahi hai (You are acting pricey these days.)"

The friend lost her temper and had to be mollified. But it left everyone shaky.

Financial status can also affect friendships. As one set of friends start doing better than the others, the relationship starts straining unless one is aware.

Often friends avoid going out together since some can't afford high-end restaurants.

Gifts also can be another landmine. On many occasions, this leads to avoidable unpleasantness. Maybe we just need to grow up and look at friendship more maturely.