5 reasons why you should switch off Bigg Boss 8, and Salman's one of them

  • Jyoti Sharma Bawa, Hindustan Times, New Delhi
  • Updated: Sep 26, 2014 11:23 IST

Come September and Indian TV -- home to sanskaari bahus and conspiring mothers-in-law, or is it the other way round -- suddenly sheds its homely image and dresses up in its vamp clothes, read Western-inspired.

India’s favourite brat Salman Khan channels, well, his inner brat while couple of individuals – on their own accord -- go under house arrest and accept that they will be filmed 24x7. The rest of the nation gives up whatever it is doing and religiously follow what these people do inside the house.

Also read: Why do they choose wannabe celebs on Bigg Boss 8?

The national productivity ebbs for the next three months while we debate if A loves B even while he is making eyes at C while D is so jealous of B that she is conspiring her ouster and E looks horrible without makeup and F can be so petty.

So, it is basically saas-bahu all over again but swear words are involved (ooh, intense). This festival of banality, aka Bigg Boss, is what dream TRPs are made of. We are already into the eighth season and the way it is going, Salman will be hosting this show well into his dotage with the last 12 self-confessed celebs left in India.

By that time, hopefully, I would have shifted to a nice cave in Himalyas. God knows, I want to do it every time a closet Bigg Boss fan (they are the only kinds, no one openly accepts that they “just love” Bigg Boss) switches it on.

There is a long list of reasons why I hate Bigg Boss – it is banal and voyeuristic, it brings out everyone’s worst natures including that of the contestants and the audience, and if it took an IQ test, you will be shocked. However, this time round, let’s focus on the current season.

1 You can broadly classify the contestants in this particular season in two categories – never heard of thems and never heard of them in the last five years. Given that the show is in its eighth season, Bigg Boss seems to be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Oh, and the bottom just fell through.

2 Even Salman Khan was not interested in doing the show this time round. He started by saying he didn’t want to do it, then he said Shah Rukh could do it, then he said he is doing it but didn’t want to do it and then he did it anyway. There are coy brides who say yes sooner.

3 There are people who would complain about their spouse/children/parents always cribbing and right after that, switch on the TV and watch Bigg Boss where the contestants are, yes you guessed it, always cribbing. Where’s the sense in that!!

4 After watching the last seven season, every single one of you closet fans can write what is going to happen inside the house to the last detail. The show follows a tried-and-tested-seven-times formula – have a vamp, add a troublemaker, bring in a glam phoren model who speaks hardly any Hindi, add a gay contestant, have a desi fashionista, two people who will immediately fall in love with each other and butter-won’t-melt-in-my-mouth wannabe Bollywood female actor. And then repeat the script that worked so well in the first season.

5 We hate to rain on the parade of contestants who enter the house saying Bigg Boss will give their career a big boost, but here’s the truth: that never happens. Maybe aside from Sunny Leone (and that’s an entirely different story), no contestant has gone on to mint millions in Bollywood. What they go ahead and inhabit is wannabe-celebs-who-appeared-in-Bigg-Boss club.

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