Sanju Baba (yes, he’s still called Baba even though he’s 50 plus, and this is Baba as in Babalog, not Baba as in ‘father’ or ‘grandfather’) and Salman Bhai (not Bhai as in the bhai on whom sisters tie rakhis) were back onstage to host the Bigg Boss finale on Colors. Actually, that should be “Bigg Boss Fie Fie Fie Fie Fie! Double vaat!” because that’s the way Baba and Bhai always called it. As we all know by now (or should know, the news was even trending on Twitter), housemate Juhi Parmar won the Rs 1 crore prize. But since no one ever watched Bigg Boss to learn the meaning of life and everyone watched it to learn the meaning of house politics, isn’t that the prism through which we should view the finale?
As someone who followed the show only intermittently and without too much enthusiasm, this is what I could gather. Warning: For those of you who never watched the show, it might read like gibberish. (“Pooja who?” / “Sky who?” / “Mahek who?”).
Why was housemate Pooja Bedi missing from the finale, though everyone else was there, even Shakti Kapoor? And why did everybody pretend as if nothing was wrong? Was it because Bhai had banned her from coming? (Apparently the naughty girl had alleged that he was favouring housemate Mahek Chahal over the others).
Why did Bhai not seem to like Sky too much? He told him grimly that he (Sky) should channel his energy into his work, instead of… what? (Befriending Pooja Bedi, perhaps?)
Why was Dolly Bindra (dressed in a blingy red tent) called onstage when Pooja Missra (dressed in a blingy red tube) was there? Was it because both ladies are the personification of soft-spoken charm and deserve to be together, preferably conjoined at the hip?
Why did Bhai’s bhabhi Malaika Arora Khan dance to Bhai’s enemy number one Shah Rukh Khan’s hit song, ‘Chammak Challo’? Does she not get along with Bhai any longer? Does Bhai not care any more?
Why did neither Bhai nor Baba speak to poor Juhi Parmar when she won the prize money, even if just to ask her the tired, tried and tested, “How are you feeling?” (According to TV gossip, so emboldened is he by Juhi’s win that her husband has now decided to volunteer for Season 6 of Bigg Boss).
But now that Bigg Boss has ended (and not a day too soon), a serial called Na Bole Tum Na Maine Kuch Kaha has started in its place. The title — like all TV serial titles these days — is taken from a song from a film (Baaton Baaton Mein, in this case).
The serial is set in Indore and revolves around a single mother (I’m guessing her husband is dead) bringing up her two kids in her in-laws’ home. She is the most wonderful bahu ever — selflessly and cheerfully looking after every member of her largely ungrateful joint family. (I can already start feeling the beginnings of a dull headache. Can’t we make any other kind of serial?) Ms Perfect Bahu soon meets Mr Ruffianly Journalist, and the stage is set for the two of them to eventually fall in love.
No prizes for guessing how many members of her family will have fits when they find out.
The heroine’s two school-going children occupy a large chunk of screen time, and I keep wondering distractedly if, in real life, the two child actors are missing school to accommodate the demands of a daily soap. Ah well. I guess their parents know best.