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The curious case of ‘hair today, more tomorrow’

When a gently balding Harsha suddenly appeared in the cricket commentators box with a full head of hair, I could hardly believe my eyes. Perhaps Harsha was inspired by Mandira Bedi’s IPL makeover where she traded her long hair for an urchin’s mop. Poonam Saxena writes.

tv Updated: Jun 19, 2009 23:50 IST
Poonam Saxena

Was it a hallucination? Was it an optical illusion? Was it a bush? Was it a bird wearing a furry hat? Or was it Harsha Bhogle?

When I saw the gently balding Harsha suddenly appear in the cricket commentators box with a full head of hair, I could hairdly believe my eyes. It didn’t look like Harsha. It didn’t even look like a distant relative of Harsha’s. What was responsible for that thatch? Hair weaving? Hair transplant? A wig? I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

All I know is that I felt extremely nostalgic for the old Harsha and wished he were back. And I kept wondering why all the cricketers Harsha was speaking to didn’t stop every four minutes to exclaim in wonder, “Hey, what’s with your hair?!” (I also kept wondering why Harsha, in turn, didn’t take one look at Anil Kumble and Wasim Akram and exclaim every four minutes, “Hey, what’s with your ties?” Because the two gentlemen wore such, er, strikingly coloured ties, you needed to shade your eyes to look at them).

Perhaps Harsha was inspired by Mandira Bedi’s IPL makeover where she traded her long hair for an urchin’s mop. Perhaps other cricket commentators will follow suit and do things to their hair too. Charu Sharma, are you listening?

However, no one is listening to anyone in the BJP, for sure. Everyone is fighting with everyone else for the top post in the party.

But that honour should go to Swapan Dasgupta who has been faithfully representing the party at each and every political discussion on each and every news channel. Television channels need to quickly find some other expert to represent the BJP — unless they’re happy to build residential accommodation for Swapan at their studios.

The real man of the moment, however, continues to be Rahul Gandhi.

His birthday was the occasion for Star News to do a one-hour documentary on him, called Uttaradhikari. They had interesting footage of Rahul (on his discovery of India — tramping through villages, sharing a glass of tea with villagers, listening sympathetically to wizened old women and so on) with snatches of his speeches playing in the background.

Star News reporters kept up the narrative thread; there were also clips of interviews with experts. I found the film quite engrossing — and a distinct improvement on what is usually on offer on news channels.

Now that the fight between multiplex owners and film producers is over and big films are all set for release, TV channels are brimming with stories revolving around the stars of these new movies (New York New York, Kambakht Ishq).

India TV told us about how Katrina Kaif loves cartoons and sees cartoon films all the time, whether she’s at home or shooting on location. Apparently, she has to just hear Donald Duck talking and she can’t stop laughing. If India TV is to be believed, I sincerely begin to fear for Katrina’s sanity.

Then Aaj Tak showed us a clip of Kareena Kapoor dancing for Akshay Kumar in Kambakht Ishq, compared it to Kareena Kapoor dancing for Shah Rukh Khan in Don, and concluded that they were both similar. (The only difference, we were told, was Kareena’s weight, which anyway seems to fluctuate as violently as the nation’s Sensex — and gets as much coverage on television).

I am now waiting for some enterprising channel to compare John’s butt-baring scene in Dostana with his butt-baring scene in New York.

How similar are they? How different are they?

Forget Katrina Kaif, I’m beginning to fear for my sanity. How much of all this can I watch without losing it completely?