Dear Santa Singh!
Oh guru.. bas kar yaar! Ho ho ho! One of these days you are going to have me fall off my chair like a piping hot pakora that misses the pan. Oh, is it not you in the Santa Banta jokes? This Chunky Pandey I tell you... tells me silly silly things. Just get me a book that will help me understand a few of the jokes that the contestants crack. I don’t understand and only burst out laughing for fear that I’ll be caught.
Dear Santa Sa!
Ghanikhamma! Jagdishiya calls me chuhiya. I want you to get a big fat real chuhiya to scare him off. Phooli and I have a plan. You will get me one no? Kha mhaari sau? Saachi! And please be careful when you come, lest you might wake Dadisa. You know how she is.
Thaari naa re, mhaare beend ki, Anandi
Dear Santa ji,
Huh huh huh huh huh... I want you to get some naughty gifts for my girlfriend. You know which one. Huh huh huh huh huh... you do? Huh huh huh huh. Tell me also.
Huh Huh Huh…
Lots of love from Pa, Mo, and Ra
It’s not your mistake. I’d like to talk to your choreographer. I am sure it is Vaibhavi. What does she know what dancing is? She could have learnt some dance from my show Nachle Ve but she didn’t watch it. Like many others. Please get me nice clothes for Jhalak Dikhlaa Jaa 4. I have worn all my clothes in the previous reality shows. I can provide variety only through apparel.
Cha cha cha then, Masterji
Please come to hamaar place. I promise tohka ki I won’t laughwa like a mad woman and scarewa you off like last year... Just don’t come when I’m watching Bigg Boss 2 tapes. You see that *%##@%% Payal used all of my make-up and I am left with none. Please get me some. I need some to look feminine in Dancing Queen. Else they threatened to call me Dancing Raja. And you know how much I like that name Raja!
Uhka jaat ka baida maroo, Sambhavna
Hope this letter finds you in the red of your health. Sob, sob, sob! You see I am looking for a nice pair of heels which I can call my own... possibly with my name carved on them. Sob, sob, sob! I want judge sahiba Farah Khan to know that I’m carrying my own heels. So what if it gives me a spinal ache? Sob, sob, sob! With so much of nach, I can’t feel my spine anyway. Oh wait, I think I can... oh no, that’s Amit’s arm.
Indian Idol hai toh Anu hai, Anu hai toh mean hai, mean hai toh TRPs hain, TRPs hain toh show hai, show hai toh hum hain, hum hain toh kya ghum hai, ghum hai toh khushi hai... khushi hai toh chaman hai, chaman hai toh Boman hai, Boman hai toh Shabana hai, sorry bhai, Boman hai toh bahana hai... bahana hai toh celebration hai, celebration hai toh Indian hai... Indian hai toh Idol hai, Idol hai toh Anu hai, Anu hai toh mean hai... waah kya writing hai! Please get me some pen and paper. Have to write my next poem.
Adab, Javed saab