This week will mark the tenth year of the 9/11 attacks that brought down New York's famed twin towers and sparked off a global "war on terror". One of the principal protagonists of that war, US president George W Bush, has retired to his house in Texas. The other, Osama bin Laden, remains missing despite all the secret agencies of the known universe looking for him.
Theories have begun to abound about why, despite all the intensive searching, Osama remains missing, only emerging from time to time to release one of his famous videos. Some of the recent ones boggle all but the most imaginative minds.
Last week, former Cuban president, the legendary Fidel Castro, who survived all US attempts to overthrow him from 1959 until his voluntary retirement in 2008, declared that Osama was in fact working for President Bush. "Bush never lacked for bin Laden's support", Castro said. The idea, according to Castro, was for Osama and Bush to jointly scare people, and thus shore up support for each other.
Of course not everyone scares easy. Gary Brooks Faulkner, a bespectacled 52-year-old American with a severe kidney ailment, was arrested in Pakistan's mountainous Chitral area in June. He was carrying a pistol and a samurai sword, and was apparently planning to hunt down Osama. He's now back in the US, and reportedly planning a second trip.
Faulkner is not related to Rambo, Chuck Norris or Superman. Reports quoting unnamed intelligence sources from various western agencies however noted that Faulkner was looking in the right places.
This is something on which most intelligence agencies in the known universe except Pakistan's ISI agree. Osama is believed to be in Pakistan, probably in the mountains around Chitral, although no one can say for sure.
Of course, if Fidel Castro is to be believed, he could well be on a ranch in Texas, enjoying his sherbet in the company of an old friend. All attempts to reach Osama for comments failed, and messages left with a former ISI chief were not answered.