Happy Friendship Day
We may have many friends on social media platforms. But are they really friends or just acquaintances?
Childhood friends are the most precious. Children befriend each other for the sheer joy of playing together, sharing etc. They bond over nursery rhymes, toffees, dolls, toy cars and not over status, money and power. For teenagers, cricket, football, TV shows, clothes, extra curricular activities etc are great binders to make friends.
Come adulthood and the idea of fun and friendship changes. Friends may indulge in road trips, biking, clubbing, partying, drinking or even drug abuse together.
Some youngsters come from homes with strong values. They may be able to swing those who may be experimenting with vices. Conversely, young adults with good moral values and ethics may become loners or even laughing stocks amid the so-called modern society. This may sound harsh but it is the truth. In present times most schools and colleges being co-educational, friendships between boys and girls are natural and normal. What is disturbing is that under the guise of being “just friends”, children do not know where to draw the line. When the physics class in school leads to chemistry between the opposite sexes and goes on to explore their biology, it is alarming. Ethics are being junked under the garb of modernity. I wonder why having physical relations with friends has become normal. The very fact that this has to be hidden from parents means it’s unethical. Youngsters need to understand that friendships should not extend to casual promiscuous relations. No one’s innocence and character should become a casualty to casual relations. Modernisation should make us progressive, aiming towards upliftment. It should not be regressive, giving into carnal instincts.
Ironically, social media has changed the meaning of the word friend. We may have many friends on social media platforms. But are they really friends or just acquaintances? Your Facebook or Instagram feed may remind you that it’s the birthday of a friend on social media. Sending a crisp or mushy message complete with emojis is all there is to it. There was a time when we had just a handful of friends but they were for real. Social media friends are artificial, just like plastic.
An old lady, who was my late mother’s friend, used to pop up on my Facebook feed often. I recently attended her cremation. There were just about 35 people there. As I looked around, I saw the deceased’s husband standing alone in grief. When I got home, on a whim I opened Facebook and checked the accounts of both. The husband who stood alone in the crematorium had 2,804 Facebook friends! The deceased lady had 3,045! A friend in need is said to be a friend indeed. Where were all those friends, in their hour of need?
The memoirs of India have documented evidence of friendships that have played significant roles in our history. Krishna was a selfless and sincere friend to Sudama, Draupadi, Arjuna, the cowherds etc. Karna befriended Duryodhana and Shakuni, so his life was doomed. And there were friends like Shakuni and Jaichand who were literally fiends.
Krishna’s friendship with Arjun, resulted in Krishna counselling him when he was devastated and confused. This resulted in a discourse on the battlefield that was compiled as the Bhagwad Gita and has benefited the entire world.
Where can you find good friends? Well, if you feel the need for a friend, just be a friend to someone. Offer someone your time, a helping hand or lend an ear to hear their story. Sharing a cup of tea or a meal is also a great way to start a friendship.
Be selfless and sincere in friendship. Celebrate your friendships, but remember that being a good friends is what matters not just seeking a good one. On a spiritual tangent, God is the eternal friend. Do nurture your relationship with “Him”, even if you have none other. Happy Friendship Day!
priyatandon65@gmail.com
The writer is a Chandigarh-based freelance contributor