Coping with grief | delhi | Hindustan Times
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Coping with grief

"I do not know how to live without him," said Chandra Joshi, who was married to HD Joshi for the 37 years.

delhi Updated: Oct 07, 2011 00:26 IST

I do not know how to live without him: Joshi’s wife
HD Joshi (68), Businessman

"I do not know how to live without him," said Chandra Joshi, who was married to HD Joshi for the 37 years.

He was one of the 14 people who died during the Delhi High Court blast.

She was not prepared for her life to change this way; a loss that she says is extremely difficult for her to cope with.

It has been a month since the incident, but her pain only grows. "His memories are in every corner of the house. I used to feel so secure because of the rock-solid support he provided me with," Chandra said.

"With him gone, I don’t feel like going to the terrace anymore to look at the garden that we set up together. He wasn’t really into gardening,, but for me he would make an effort to buy the best of seeds and manure," she added.

Her two children are now providing the protective cover she needs at the moment.

"If I am left alone, I start thinking about him. But I know one day I’ll have to accept his death and stand alone. I do not want to be a liability to anyone," said the retired Lady Sri Ram College lecturer.

"The world is the same and yet it has altered in a big way for me," she said.

Joshi, a Naraina-based businessman was at Delhi High Court to appear for a hearing on the poor infrastructure in the industrial area.

He died on the operation table at the Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital.

Family seeks peace through pilgrimage
Amanpreet Jolly (21), Law student

A month after the deadly blast took away the cynosure of their eyes, the entire family of Amanpreet Singh Jolly is spending time at Sachkhand, a Sikh pilgrim centre at Nanded in Maharashtra.

Amanpreet, the 21-year-old law student, was also fond of going to Nanded. Every year, his family goes to Nanded on Dussehra. "This year too, all of them are at Nanded," said Kuljeet Singh, who stays in a house next to Jolly’s in Nanakpura area on Jail Road in west Delhi.

Earlier, after cremating Amanpreet’s body, his ashes were taken to be immerse into the Godavari river at Nanded, the last resting place of Guru Gobind Singh.

It was then that the gurdwara authorities told Manmohan Singh, Amanpreet’s father, and the family not to cry over the deceased member and spend more and more of their time praying.

‘There is only bright light ahead’
Harish Kumar (41), Plasticware trader and RTI activist

The graffiti on his T-shirt reads ‘Yesterday is a cancelled cheque, tomorrow is a promissory note and today is ready cash. Use it’. Keeping in the same spirit, a weak yet cheerful Harish Kumar, 41, belies all expectation you can have of a blast victim.

The plasticware trader cum Right to Information activist has an amputated left leg from little below the knee. The part chopped off had been pierced with splinters from the blast outside the Delhi HC last month.

"I survived only because my friend pulled me out from under four bodies and brought me to the hospital," said Harish, whose right foot has also suffered major damage.

"Peeche andhere ke alava kuch nahi hai, aur aage ujale ke siva kuch nahi. (There is nothing but darkness behind and only bright light ahead)," he says.

The city has got used to death: Sharma’s wife
AK Sharma (49),Teacher

The last one month of Sangita Ashok’s life has been a series of horror tales. After losing her husband, AK Sharma, in the Delhi High Court blast a month back, she has been making rounds of hospitals and government offices every day to get her husband’s death certificate.

"The certificate given to us had some errors and I have been running around for the last one month trying to get them corrected. I was given no guidance. It took nine days for one file to move from one department to another inside Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital," said Ashok.

AK Sharma, a former teacher at a Kendriya Vidyalaya, had been removed from duty pending investigation and was in court premises last month for a hearing.

According to the family, he was targeted for being a whistleblower. After a year of his removal, Ashok was also removed from her administrative job in Kendriya Vidyalaya.

The family, currently, has no source of income.

"All efforts to contact the department have been my own. No one from the government has contacted us so far. I tried to contact the KV commissioner but he has not responded till date," Ashok said.

Even the people, who had written to Hindustan Times expressing willingness to help the family, have not contacted
Ashok. "The city has got used to death. Once the noise dies out, no one cares," Ashok added.

Nothing to look forward to, says Buxi’s wife
Mridul Buxi (34), Salesman at tile manufacturing firm

Even her five-month-old son’s smile is not able to cheer her up. It has been 22 days since her husband, Mridul Buxi, 34, succumbed to his injuries, but Rajni Buxi, 27, has barely spoken a word since then.

All she does is watch the video recordings of her husband playing with their son in her mobile phone.

"She is not even giving time to her son. He is growing teeth and not keeping well these days, but she is so lost that we have to take care of the baby," said Ashok Dutta, Rajni’s father.

"I went to her place about a week ago, and realised she was sinking into depression. I brought her back to our house thinking that she might feel better with people around. But she is in shock," added Dutta.

On Wednesday, Dutta took her to the house warming party of one of his friends — to divert her attention — but Rajni broke into tears. He had to bring her back home.

"There is nothing to look forward to. Our lives have been ruined," said Rajni, looking at her son, who is playing on the floor next to her.

Buxi had sustained multiple injuries on his head, chest, hands and legs in the blast, and had been in the intensive care unit of Ram Manohar Lohia Hospital. On September 15, he breathed his last at 4am.

Buxi, who worked as a salesman with a tiles manufacturing firm, had gone to the court to represent his employer in a case.

(Mallica Joshi, Nivedita Khandekar, Rhythma Kaul)