Passions: Dating apps decoded
A person who found true love online faces off with someone who thinks dating apps are just for hook-ups!
“I swiped right past 20-25 people before I found my fiancé”
By Sherry Parashar
Coming from a family of love marriages, including my parents, I wanted a rock solid relationship. So, when my college boyfriend wasn’t ready to commit, I tried to meet other people IRL.
When nothing clicked, I joined Tinder in January 2020. My friends warned me that apps were just for hook-ups, but I wanted to try it. Plus, given the pandemic, chances were that the perfect guy would be stuck at home, like me.
I met three guys and swiped right past 20-25 people, before I met Varun, now my fiancé.
About 60 per cent of the people I came across on the app wanted to be in a ‘situationship’, where they wanted to see where the relationship would take them, but without being exclusive. But there was also that 25 per cent that wanted something serious. Only 15 per cent was looking for hook-ups.
We started dating on 8 May, 2020, and first met in August. While Varun’s friends were cool about us, my friends asked me to be ‘more careful’, saying things like ‘how can you be so sure you are the only girl in his life if he’s on a dating app?’. Relatives stay judgmental, but my immediate family is okay.
The main problem I faced was catfishing. But I also met people who remain friends. A former Tinder match even helped me get my current job!
If you want to use dating apps, be honest about what you want and don’t settle for less.
Sherry Parashar, 24, a NIFT graduate working as a creative director, is set to marry in May 2022.
“I’ve had 20 hook-ups and zero relationships via apps”
By Ajay Kapoor
I’ve been on dating apps for six to seven years, across Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, OkayCupid and Happn. I thought this was a great way to meet women and initially joined for hook-ups.
The primary objective on these apps is to find a date. They expand your dating pool, which was earlier confined to gym, office etc. These apps aren’t meant to find someone long-term. Honestly, dating apps are the only way to look for a hook-up non-creepily. More than 60 per cent of the people on these apps are looking for a rebound. Though hook-ups can also lead to relationships.
It’s much easier to download an app than go to a bar and try to meet someone. Women are usually apprehensive of being approached at a bar. So, Gen Z and millennials only have dating apps to meet people. That, or sliding into DMs.
On these apps, you need to embrace the idea that the relationship isn’t permanent, but a conduit that leads towards a stable land. Either both of you like each other and want to work on something long-term, or, it’s a hook-up. I’ve had about 20 hook-ups and zero relationships via apps.
Being on dating apps has to be a disciplined exercise. You need to give people time to interact. But if someone doesn’t reply on your third try, don’t follow up.
If you want to meet, do a video call with him/her first. After you Google them and stalk them on social media, of course.
Ajay Kapoor, 33, is a healthcare strategy consultant and entrepreneur.
From HT Brunch, April 23, 2022
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