The tenets of mature love: Psychologist suggests
From giving space to speaking directly about the needs and expectations, here are nine tenets of having a mature and healthy relationship.
Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in this world. Getting the butterflies in the stomach in the initial phases of falling in love, to growing a relationship together with the person you love over time through understanding, communication and the art of navigating life together, makes up togetherness. However, with time, a relationship faces its own challenges – from conflicts to differences in opinion. A mature love is one of a kind, that stays through it all with the knowledge of each other and themselves. In her recent Instagram post, Psychologist Nicole LePera wrote, “Mature love involves knowing oneself."
Nicole further noted down the nine tenets of mature love – the principles that bind two people together in a healthy relationship:
Staying connected in conflicts: Contrary to what we believe, conflicts are healthy as they open up new perspectives for each other. Staying connected through conflicts and not giving up on each other is an important skill that people in relationships need to learn.
Forgiving each other: Mistakes are natural for humans. When we love someone and want to be with them, it is important to understand their mistakes and be with them as they grow out of it.
Meeting needs: Expectations, needs and wants are natural in a relationship. But when we put the pressure of meeting all our needs and expectations on one person, it can get our hearts broken.
Giving space: Understanding that our partners are also individual beings with their own life, ambitions and needs. Giving space to each other creates beautiful relationships.
Speaking directly: It is important to talk about our needs and wants directly with the other person, without assuming that they will understand somehow.
Autonomous individuals: Understanding the fact that we are individuals who are capable of making their own decisions, helps in creating mature love.
Happiness: Our happiness depends on ourselves, and only on ourselves. When we solely depend on ourselves for our happiness, we end up having a good relationship.
Play together: Playing together, being silly and finding time for each other to do things that make us happy.
Self-expression: Mutual freedom and expression comes when there is a safe space for it. A mature relationship creates that space for each other.