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Did you bump into your partner’s ex and fight? Here’s some expert help

As a Bollywood celeb’s fight with his girlfriend’s ex at a party makes news, we ask experts how to deal with such a situation

sex and relationships Updated: Apr 13, 2017 20:28 IST
Collin Rodrigues
Collin Rodrigues
Hindustan Times
Partner's ex,Fight,Girlfriend
There is always a possibility that some pleasantries may be exchanged when you meet your partner’s ex.(Istock)

Reportedly, a few days back, Farhan Akhtar —Shraddha Kapoor’s alleged beau — and Aditya Roy Kapur, her alleged ex, fought at a party. This was because Shraddha was bonding with Aditya at the bash, which didn’t go well with Farhan, and post the incident Shraddha even did damage control.
It is common knowledge that most people don’t like their partner’s ex. Often, things turn ugly if you bump into them, especially when you are with your partner or a spouse. There is always a possibility that some pleasantries may be exchanged on such an occasion.

Be secure
Consultant psychiatrist, Dr Ambrish Dharmadhikari explains how best to deal with situations like these. “Jealousy is the first emotion that is evoked in such a situation. One should be welcoming to your partner’s ex. You should also realise that your partner is not a trophy for which you are fighting. Instead, you should have trust and confidence in your relationship. One should remember that a positive reaction at such times reflects security in your current relationship. It can also help build trust. Yes, there should be a limit but a courtesy greeting would save a lot of trouble.”

Talk about it
There is also the possibility of your partner interacting with his or her ex at such a meeting, which may not go down well with you. But, Dharmadhikari says one should not try to convey your displeasure immediately. Instead, communicate and discuss the issue with your partner in private. He says, “Current relationship matters more. Not liking someone is fine but expressing it in public is not. So, just take a deep breath and let the displeasure go.”
Consultant psychiatrist Gaurav Wadgaonkar says that having a problem with your partner or spouse’s ex in such a situation is only natural. He says, “Humans have the ability to override emotions with rational thinking. Healthy communication with your current partner or spouse can avoid confrontations is such situations.”

Celebs who bumped into their partner’s ex

In January 2013, Jennifer Lopez, who was accompanied by her boyfriend Casper Smart, bumped into her ex, P Diddy, at the Weinstein Golden Globes after party. Reportedly, Lopez greeted Diddy with a ‘Hello baby’, planted a kiss on his cheek and then introduced him to Casper. Later, the trio was seen chatting happily at the event.
Reportedly, back in 2005, Raveena Tandon met her husband Anil Thadani’s ex-wife Natasha Sippy, the daughter of producer Romu Sippy, at Ritesh Sidhwani’s party. It’s not known what transpired between the duo, but Raveena ended up throwing a glass of wine on Natasha’s face. Later, she was quoted as saying, “There’s nothing between Anil and Natasha Sippy. Everything about Anil has to do with me and everything about me has to do with Anil. He and I are one. And I don’t regret what happened. My husband Anil is the purest cleanest person after god and my father. I won’t allow anyone to cast aspersions on him. Any insult to him is an insult to me. No one can sully my family and get away with it.” (Satish Bate/HT)
In 2012, a fight broke out between Halle Berry’s ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry and her fiancé Olivier Martinez. Reportedly, the brawl started when Aubry took Nahla, his daughter with Berry, to her nativity play on the day before Thanksgiving. Aubry said that Martinez knocked him to the ground and beat him when he was headed towards his car. (REUTERS)
In 2012, Chris Brown fought with Drake over their ex-girlfriend Rihanna at a New York nightclub where they were both were partying. Reportedly, the fracas started after Drake returned a bottle of champagne that Brown had sent to him as a ‘peace offering’ with a note. The melee that followed had both the singers and people from their entourage throwing bottles at each other. Several people at the nightclub also suffered serious injurious during the brawl. (AFP)

First Published: Apr 13, 2017 20:28 IST