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Fight fire with fire: Cyrus Broacha’s advice to friendzoned guys

Cyrus Broacha is here to answer your questions related to complex matters in life.

sex and relationships Updated: Jun 02, 2016 07:58 IST
Cyrus Broacha
Cyrus Broacha
Hindustan Times
Cyrus Broacha,Relationship,Advice
Got a question for Cyrus? Ask here.

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

Read: No means no: Cyrus Broacha urges men to learn to accept rejection

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

Read: Cyrus Broacha has an advice for the lovelorn: Don’t confront him

My girlfriend broke up with me recently. But we are still close to each other. She neither wants to accept me, nor lose me. I have proposed to her several times, but she always says she doesn’t know what to do. She even has a new boyfriend now, but she still holds my hand and hugs me. She says I’m her best friend. I want her badly. How can I win her back?
— AS

Sadly, you are the one with the worst deal. She has got a boyfriend, and she has got you. She is in paradise. Her ego is satisfied, and her self-esteem is through the roof. I think you should fight fire with fire. If you can divide your attention between this girl and another girl, that may do the trick. Of course, that’s a bit mean to the other girl. In which case, why don’t you resign from the game, and force her hand either way?

I was in a relationship with a girl for two years. But, suddenly she started ignoring me. After talking to her, I got to know that her parents were against me. She has stopped talking to me since. Every time I meet her, she keeps making excuses to leave in a few minutes. I am depressed. Please help.
— Sanu

Rocco Depaux of Corsica tried to prove that he could fly. He did that successfully too. He had himself shot out of a cannon. He flew 77 feet. Of course, due to his immediate death, he never flew again. My considered point — it may take the average person seven-and-a-half years to understand, and it may take the super intelligent 11 years — is that she’s the cannon and she just shot you out. Obviously, she’s accepted her parents’ authority, and has fired you from the relationship. She’s slowly avoiding you. She’s clear. She’s out. Let her go.

I like my best friend. I’ve told her about my feelings, but she says I’m not her type. She has a boyfriend. I have tried to forget her, but I can’t. Every time I ignore her, she starts calling me. Should I continue being her friend or get her out of my mind?
— AP

In my book, 57 Ways To Trim A Garden Hedge, I have said that if two people have different ideas about a relationship, it’s probably not love. A mongoose and a snake is a good case in point. The mongoose wants to eat the snake, but the snake wants to camouflage the foliage, and later, eat the mongoose’s babies. Her relationship status seems clear. You’re just a friend. You are confused.

I met a guy at a debate twice. Soon, we started messaging each other. We flirted a lot. Then, one day, he said he’d like to have sex with me. I said I wasn’t sure. After that, he started ignoring me. Now we aren’t talking at all. I have messaged him, but he doesn’t reply. I really want to talk to him. What do I do?
— JG

Tantrums are very important for a person. Especially, if the person is three-and-a-half years old. The moment you said no, your guy threw a tantrum. You didn’t notice, but he must have rolled on his back and beaten his chest. And then, he must have sung a whole collection of One Direction tunes. I say, to hell with tantrums! He didn’t get his oats sowed to become a Kardashian? I beg you, leave him alone if you can’t send him a note telling him how stunned you are at his selfishness and chauvinism. Also, no matter what you do, don’t support One Direction.

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First Published: Jun 02, 2016 07:57 IST