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Got dumped? Here are 5 ways to deal with rejection

Yes, rejection pinches like a needle. But it does not mean you beat yourself down. Here is how you can deal with rejection and come out stronger in process.

sex and relationships Updated: Sep 27, 2016 10:57 IST
Abhinav Verma
Abhinav Verma
Hindustan Times
Lifestyle,Relationships,Got dumped
Dealing with rejection is not such a big deal.(Photo: Shutterstock)

Rejection in relationships tends to be an awkward situation for the person who gets to hear a no. There are probably two situations where a person has to deal with rejection. First one is when you ask someone out for the first time and you get turned down. And the second one is when you are already in a stable relationship and out of nowhere your partner drops the bomb, “No, this is not working out anymore”.

The problem with rejection is that if not dealt properly in a positive and mature manner, it can send us into a landslide of self-doubt and can turn your nights into an endless marathon of eating ice cream in self-pity and watching re-runs of your favourite romantic movies. So, with the help of experts here a few tips which help to rebound from rejection like a boss.

1) Don’t force the issue mate

If someone says no then don’t force the issue, you don’t want to end up on social media as a guy who can’t handle rejection.

This applies for all the singletons who get used to hearing no when they ask someone out. Remember you can’t force people to go out with you. Take it in your stride, and move on. “Don’t let rejection consume you in anger and feeling of self-loathing. It will affect your ability to attract a potential partner in future,” says relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo. If you keep persisting even after someone says no, then you might end up on social media as that guy who can’t handle rejection.

2) Not all good things last

If the relationship is over then its probably best to move on. If you are thinking sending messages in desperation will solve the issue then it won’t. You would probably be compromising on your self respect.

If you’re the one getting dumped in a relationship, it hurts even more. In a situation like this, both of you need to have a dignified conversation about moving on. “The person getting dumped needs to hear the other’s point of view and accept that they want to move on,” says psychiatrist Dr Manish Jain. Remember, just because the relationship ended, it doesn’t mean you undermine your integrity. Always remember that just because a relationship ended, it does not mean you undermine your integrity and self-respect. Let go and move on, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

3) Avoid falling into the trap of self pity

Don’t turn into a self loathing ice cream eating slouch if the relationship is over.

Just because your relationship ended, it does not mean you fall into a trap of self-pity thinking you are not good enough for anyone. In such cases, a person may suffer from low confidence and self-doubt, which can harm the person’s existing relationships as well as reduces the chances of getting into a new relationship. “ When a person handles rejection improperly then they are more prone to many physiological and emotional consequences like – depression, anxiety, lower self-confidence. And at times they fear to fall in love again,” explains Sadhoo.

4) A chance to evolve

One can learn from previous relationships to ensure they don’t repeat the same mistakes in their future relationships.

A relationship is a two-way street. This means when it ends, then you and your partner need to introspect as to why it ended. “An ending of a relationship could be an opportunity to analyse one’s approach to a relationship and evolve so that one can learn from ones mistakes in their previous relationships. Experience only makes one more mature and increases one’s chances of a successful relationship in the future,” states Dr Jain.

5) It ain’t apocalypse

One should not take out their frustrations of failed relationships on their friends, health and career.

Rejections do hit hard, but it doesn’t mean you stop caring about things like career, health and the most important, your friends. “Some of us, when rejected think it’s the end of the world, we stop talking to our friends, stop taking care of our health and start to slack at work. Avoid getting stuck in a destructive pattern of self loathing. Remember its friends who motivate you and are there for you so don’t alienate them,” says Sadhoo.

First Published: Sep 27, 2016 09:10 IST