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Improve your relationship by sleeping right with these 7 positions

Understanding the link between your sleep and relationships may help you better both of them in your life.

sex and relationships Updated: Feb 26, 2019 14:13 IST
Susan Jose
Susan Jose
Hindustan Times, Delhi
sleeping right,Improve your relationship,Sleeping positions
There are no definite set of sleeping rules. Because what may work with one couple may not work for the other.(Unsplash)

Have you ever wondered if your sleepless nights are because of the tiff you have been having with your partner? Turns out, you could blame your significant other for your mild insomnia. Jokes aside, a recent study by University of Minnesota, USA, has explained how our sleep is affected by relationships. Although the study focussed on past relationships, it is well-established through other researches that our bond with loved ones leave a deep impact on our sleep patterns.

So, what are the bedtime rules that may help couples maintain a healthy bond? Well, there are no definite set of sleeping rules. Because what may work with one couple may not work for the other. “While some couples find solace and emotional gratitude in ‘cuddling up’, there are few who are equally happy with their backs turned to each other. Then there are some who are satisfactorily connected even while sleeping in different bedrooms,” says Dr Sonal Anand, psychiatrist, Wockhardt Hospital, adding, “It all depends on the fluidity of the relationship and the mutual understanding for changing circumstances.”

Dr Kersi Chavda, consultant psychiatrist, Hinduja Healthcare, explains what each sleep position signifies and they have been shown via illustrations.

While it isn’t super common, it is a transitional type of sleep position; usually when a couple is going from the initial stages of a relationship to something longer and more substantial.

It’s sort of a physical reassurance that you can’t get enough of that person. Though this position tends to change as relationships age, there’s nothing wrong with this being the initial sleeping position in your new relationship. This position, however, does tend to be a little uncomfortable.

Hooking your legs together may indicate that you and your partner need some form of balance in your relationship. It says that although you need to be together, you also want some individuality
Typically, this is after an emotionally positive encounter, physically or otherwise. Both partners sleep on their sides, facing each other, locked in an embrace of arms and legs. This definitely doesn’t lead to optimal sleep.
It allows the couple to enjoy the sleep position they prefer most. This is a sign of trust. With this sleep position, the couple trusts each other to let each person do their own thing. This keeps things interesting.
It is when both partners are facing and embracing each other. Although this position is sweetsounding, it may not be as good for the relationship. It may be a sign that both of you are too attached. The couple could be overly enmeshed, too dependent on each other to sleep apart.
As a couple becomes more confident in their relationship, the spoons tend to drift, which offers the best sleep quality.

For a blissful sleep

There are several habits one can adopt to make sure that they have better sleep patterns.

One time-tested method is to try and sync their sleep cycles, in whichever cases possible. According to experts, when partners go to sleep and wake up together, it does have a positive impact on their relationship. “When partners are in sync with their sleep cycle, and if both get ready to sleep at the same time, they indirectly get quality time to discuss about their day before sleeping,” says Namrata Dagia, clinical psychologist, The Illuminating Zone, adding, “If partners wake up and sleep together, it also leads to a healthy lifestyle as sound sleep reduces stress, promotes mental well-being and also benefits the body physiologically.”

Anand suggests avoiding the use of mobile phones and other gadgets as much as possible at bedtime.

Maintaining general decorum helps too. “Being considerate like not making too much noise and switching on a torch instead of the bright light will reduce disturbing the other’s sleep,” says Dr PD Lakdawala, psychiatrist, Bhatia Hospital.

He further advises that if couples decide to talk about their day before going to sleep, they should avoid discussing about incidents that may cause friction as this will affect their mood, and in turn their sleep.

Space is sacrosanct

I like to sleep alone because that is the only time of the day when I can escape the crowds. In a city like Mumbai, where one has to travel using public transportation that is often overcrowded, space is sacrosanct.When I have that space at the end of the day, in my bed, I don’t want to share that with anyone else.

Many people ask me about how I deal with relationships. My answer is that you can have a very simple conversation with your significant other about how you require that space. Maybe a good way to go about it is to initially cuddle while falling asleep and then move your separate ways on the bed.

Also, when I am required to share my bed with any guests who are visiting home, I place pillows in the middle establishing a clear cut boundary.

-Sayesha Sitlani, 25, media professional

First Published: Feb 26, 2019 14:09 IST