Reshaping gender expectations
This article is authored by Shaifalika Panda.
In recent decades, we have made tremendous progress on women’s development in India, encouraging them to be independent, career-oriented, and self-reliant. More girls are pursuing higher education in technical subjects, choosing to further their careers, and making lifestyle choices that reflect their autonomy. But are we, as a society, ready to live with empowered women? Are we ready for gender equity in the true sense?
Recently a discussion with educated young adults in the national Capital led to the conclusion that three out of four boys from upper strata of society ‘will not allow their wives to drive alone - even in broad daylight’. This statement arising from safety concerns is perhaps a result of how they visualise their responsibility as head of a nuclear family unit. Beneath the good intention, a subconscious conditioning reflects deep-rooted patriarchy which limits women’s freedom, even if unintentional. However, the conversation underscored a larger issue--gender equality requires not just empowering women but also creating a conducive environment for them to thrive; moreover, women alone should not bear the brunt of poor law and order by way of restrictions on their freedom of choice.
According to a study by Suhani Jalota and Lisa Ho, married women face significant challenges entering the workforce, even for flexible and safe job roles. Their findings indicate that intangible domestic work and seeking permission from spouses and family significantly influences job uptake. In another research study, Namrata Chindarkar highlights that Indian working women spend about 7.2 hours daily on household tasks compared to just 2.8 hours by working men.
The fight for parity has traditionally focused on enabling women to make independent decisions. We are now more likely to tell our daughters they can be anything they want – a CEO, cricketer, or a homemaker; however, we are not adequately educating our boys or preparing society at large to accept their choices. As Gloria Steinem says, “I’m glad we’ve begun to raise our daughters more like our sons, but it will never work until we raise our sons more like our daughters.” There is an urgent need to counsel young boys and men to understand that relationships with women – whether as siblings, spouses, or parents--should be founded on mutual respect and equality, not control. Consequently, the notion of them seeking permission for life choices and opportunities should not arise.
In rural India, the challenge is even more profound. Cultural norms, traditional outlooks, and often limited resources have created gender roles within households. Interestingly, gender roles aren't just for women; they constrain men as well. Societal respect in India is often linked to a man's ability to fulfil the traditional role of being the provider and protector for the family. These beliefs restrict the ability to embrace choices outside of the norm.
It is imperative to understand the terms 'protective,' 'caring,' and 'responsible' can often translate to 'conservative’, ‘restrictive’, and 'controlling'. To truly unshackle the norms of patriarchy and promote a conducive environment of equivalence across genders, we need to reshape stereotypical expectations in the family, community, and professional space.
Family is at the root of our existence, shaping our subconscious and foundational beliefs. Initiating change from an early age is the only way to break normative behaviour. When a father treats his daughter at par with his son, the seed is sown for this young boy to do the same when it comes to his wife and daughter, thereby challenging gender stereotyping. When a husband supports his wife in pursuing her professional and personal aspirations, all members of the family will be attuned to equality and respect among genders. A compelling example of such liberation is
Mary Kom, the Indian Olympic boxer, who was resolutely supported by her husband to follow her dream even after motherhood. Similar stories must be highlighted constantly, underscoring how balanced relations between genders leads to empowerment in the true sense. Schools are another extremely important influence, as social structures can be redefined in the foundation years leading to a ripple effect.
Recent surveys indicate a growing rejection of feminism among Gen Z boys, fuelled by frequent admonitions to be ‘better’. However, what "better" means often remains ambiguous, leaving young men to navigate these expectations largely by themselves. Boys also need role models and a new charter to live respectfully and harmoniously alongside empowered individuals of the opposite sex.
Behavioural change campaigns that promote shared responsibilities, understanding the importance of being financially independent, and influencer platforms that highlight positive masculinity are vital in this transformative process. Communities need to be included in dialogues to take ownership of the alteration of interpersonal norms and communication. One notable example is Ariel’s "Share the Load" campaign, which uses various audio-visual platforms to encourage equal responsibilities in households. Another is Nikhil Taneja’s "Be a Man Yaar." This show, perhaps India’s first on positive masculinity, sparks conversations with influential men from a diverse group, promoting healthier gender dynamics and phasing out harmful typecasts which contribute to negative expressions of gender roles. Policies across segments will go a long way in binding a common message through media, cinema, and tech-aided communication in advocating to masses that gender equity is not just a women’s issue; thus, men must be made a part of the solution.
The Female Labour Force Participation Rate (FLFPR) in India has increased by roughly 15% in the last five years. For India to evolve into a developed economy, it is essential to advocate for more equal workplaces and other support structures. Management must set the trend within the office for young professionals to observe and learn explicitly. Companies such as Unilever and Mahindra are frontrunners in supporting women's careers through initiatives such as leadership and mentorship programmes, flexible work arrangements, and paternity policies. Similarly, the Board for Cricket Control in India (BCCI)'s decision to implement equal pay for women cricketers set a powerful precedent in bridging the gender pay gap, inspiring many others to follow suit.
For too long, societal messages have painted a narrow picture of masculinity, often leaving men feeling intimidated by strong independent women. Raising progressive children is not about erasing gender differences altogether or assuming that boys and girls have similar goals; instead, it is about demonstrating strength by embracing emotions, express caring by accepting choices, and practising responsibility by respecting independence. It is when we transition from gender expectations to human expectations that society can be said to have truly progressed.
This article is authored by Shaifalika Panda, trustee & founder CEO, Bansidhar & Ila Panda Foundation (BIPF), and chief of CSR (special initiatives), Indian Metals and Ferro Alloys (IMFA).