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The one with the family: What to do when holidaying with teenagers

Holidays are a time to sit back and relax. However, vacationing with your children, especially if they are adolescent, can get a bit tricky.

sex and relationships Updated: Aug 01, 2016 10:46 IST
Family Vacation

Teens need to feel that there’s a place for them within the family, suggest researchers.(Shutterstock)

Holidays are a time to sit back and relax. However, vacationing with your children, especially if they are adolescent, can get a bit tricky. Here we bring you expert advice on how to handle teenagers on a trip to avoid unnecessary friction and have a great time.

Sonia Prades, a psychologist specialising in family relationships tells us how:

Lay down the limits

Setting off on an improvised trip with carefree plans to take things as they come may not be the best solution when vacationing with teenagers. In fact, it’s better to talk to teens beforehand about what’s in store, lay down the limits and make expectations clear (rules, timekeeping, pace, activities). This can help keep tempers calm once you arrive at your destination.

Stay put, but don’t go remote

It can be hard to keep everyone happy with one specific kind of holiday, points out Sonia Prades. Renting a remote property may appeal to parents, but it’ll be much less fun for teens, unless they bring a friend. However, at holiday villages and resorts, young people can meet others and socialize more easily. Try not to isolate teens and aim to stay put in destinations long enough for them to make friends.

Spend specific times together

Teens shouldn’t be left entirely to their own devices, since “they need to feel that they have a place within the family,” explains Prades. This place in the family can be created by sharing mealtimes or specific activities chosen together. “Instead of taking charge of all the meals, get your teenager involved by asking them to prepare pre-dinner drinks and snacks, for example.”

Suggest activities, but don’t go overboard

“Teens are sure to get grumpy if you force them to join you. They need to experience things by themselves, even on holiday.” Parents should find a good balance between safety and freedom. By definition, at this age, teens are likely to frown on anything suggested by parents. “If they won’t accept anything, you should impose your choice firmly without compromising your parenting,” advises the specialist.

Give some pocket money

Pocket money is important as it gives teens a feeling of independence. “You can very well just give a small amount and only once a week,” says Sonia Prades, “it isn’t the amount that’s important.” In fact, giving too much pocket money is counter-productive and could lead to risky behaviour.

Read: Planning a family holiday? Asia and Oceania should be your top choice

Set clear, coherent rules

According to Sonia Prades, inconsistent attitudes are common on holiday and can easily cause arguments. “Allowing a late night out then reproaching your teen for getting out of bed at midday isn’t coherent. No one is suggesting letting teens go out every night, but rather adapting appropriately when it is allowed,” explains the psychologist. The same goes for tablets and smartphones.

Read: Planning a weekend getaway alone, with family or friends? Take your pick

Why should a teen switch off if adults are constantly glued to devices? It’s best to have the same rules for everyone, with all devices put down at certain times of day (meals, activities, etc.). Plus, everyone can enjoy a video or movie together rather than using individual devices.

Stay out of vacation romances

If there’s one thing you really shouldn’t do on vacation, it’s pry into your teenager’s love life. “You risk of creating a feeling of shame, which can be very difficult for teens to handle,” warns the specialist. Even if vacations are often the scene of first sexual encounters, parents should have broached the subject of safe sex well in advance. However, teens should be able to talk about their love life with parents if they want to, or have other adults to talk to if need be.

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