Zara Murao, Editor, Wknd, picks her favourite read of 2021

British-Canadian comedian Mae Martin’s book addresses questions, concerns and fears of people new to the idea of sexuality as a spectrum in a way that is informative and funny, and moves the conversation forward rather than around in circles

What would a post-gender world look like? Amid tortured conversations around TERFs, toilets and third-person pronouns, British-Canadian comedian Mae Martin saunters in like a time traveller from a future crafted by Ursula le Guin. Her book, Can Everyone Please Calm Down? A Guide to 21st Century Sexuality, was released in 2019 but shot onto best seller lists this year, following the cult success of the second season of her semi-autobiographical series, Feel Good.

Mae Martin’s book addresses the concerns of people new to the idea of sexuality as a spectrum. (HT Team)

The series – a rather angsty but touching look at a drifting, confused, queer Canadian struggling to build a healthy romantic relationship in London – has the same feeling of authenticity as Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You, even if it inhabits a more privileged world. In Season 2 (which was produced by Netflix and featured Lisa Kudrow in the role of Martin’s mother), Martin sits Peter Pan-like at a group session in a rehab facility and jokes about her gender being a sort of Adam Driver/Backstreet Boy situation.

Zara Murao (HT Photo)

In real life, she is a queer person who determinedly doesn’t care about pronouns. Asked, in an interview, what her preferred ones were she said the hosts could use them all in no particular order, “like a bit of a surprise”. She has had the privilege of growing up in a world that usually didn’t care about her pronouns either.

All this comes together in …Calm Down, which is directed at young people and people new to the idea of sexuality as a spectrum. It addresses them, and their questions, concerns and fears, in a way that is informative, funny, and moves the conversation forward rather than around in circles. The conversation she’s crafting comes from a place of lived experience, lack of fear, and a sense of humour and empathy at the idea that gender and sex should have become so fraught to begin with.

This is not a work of literary art but it does what all great works of art eventually do: inspires introspection, connects people, erases boundaries. Offers a timeless take on a universal question. Except here, it argues that many of these are really questions we shouldn’t be asking in the first place.