What started with a tweet by JK Rowling on February 12, criticising British journalist and TV presenter Piers Morgan, has now snowballed into one of the fiercest Twitter battles in recent memory, with thousands of people taking sides, giving opinions and trolling — Morgan, of course.
Yes, watching Piers Morgan being told to fuck off on live TV is *exactly* as satisfying as I'd always imagined. https://t.co/4FII8sYmIt— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
The fact-free, amoral, bigotry-apologism of celebrity toady Piers Morgan is, of course, why it's so delicious to see him told to fuck off. https://t.co/4XNF4G0nlD— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
Rowling called Morgan a celebrity toady and denounced him on the micro-blogging site for siding with ‘you know who’. Though Morgan used wit, sarcasm and whatever else he has (which is not much) to retaliate, the fact that his eldest son is a passionate Potterhead or that he himself once included Rowling in his list of 100 most important British celebrities, didn’t help his cause much. Add to it the unending army of Potterheads from around the world, wanting to tear him apart for saying he’d never read a single word of Harry Potter.
In another testament to Rowling’s maddening popularity, a bookstore in North London — Big Green Bookshop — decided to make Morgan choke on his own words. Since the dawn of February 12, it’s been tweeting the first book in the Harry Potter series — Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone — to Morgan. Line by line. It’s been three days and 471 of the total 32,567 planned tweets have already been sent out to Morgan. Now he can never again say that he hasn’t read a word of Harry Potter, can he?
Sample some of these tweets, generously peppered with Big Green Bookshop’s caustic repartee.
.@piersmorgan Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 11, 2017
that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.
.@piersmorgan OK Piers, time for bed now.— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 12, 2017
No, stop that, it's late.
Have you done a wee wee?
OK We'll read some more tomorrow night.
.@piersmorgan because he— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 12, 2017
didn't approve of imagination.
Go on Piers, admit you're enjoying it.
.@piersmorgan -- it couldn't affect them....— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 12, 2017
How very wrong he was.
Piers, we're getting to an important bit in a minute..
And just when you start questioning if the person managing the bookshop’s Twitter account is human...
Hi. Just so you know, i'm not a computer program. It's me typing stuff. Piers Morgan is a twat. JK Rowling is incredible. I shall continue.— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 11, 2017
.@piersmorgan ..they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement.— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 12, 2017
Piers, do you need the toilet?
.@piersmorgan Shall we read a bit more?— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 12, 2017
Don't forget you have an early start tomorrow...
OK, a bit more..
.@piersmorgan but no -- even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." 154/32567— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 12, 2017
Even the Muggles, Piers!
.@piersmorgan No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, 192/32567— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 13, 2017
Piers. this is important.
.@piersmorgan there will be books written about Harry -- every child in our world will know his name!" 214/32567— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 13, 2017
.@piersmorgan Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. 469/32567— Big Green Bookshop (@Biggreenbooks) February 15, 2017
Big Green Bookshop’s laborious endeavour hasn’t gone unnoticed by the international media or by Piers Morgan. Laughing it off initially, Morgan finally acknowledged that the sheer number of tweets are creeping him out and he feels like he is being water-boarded.
So @Biggreenbooks is tweeting me an entire Harry Potter book because I'm a 'twat'.— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 13, 2017
This, of course, just makes him an even bigger twat.
Seriously mate, spare me any more of this homo-erotic garbage. https://t.co/iUve80qy5M— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 13, 2017
This is some of the worst prose ever written. https://t.co/yD5L0YluUi— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 13, 2017
That moment when @Biggreenbooks realises everyone's bored with his Harry Potter stunt & he's still got 32,241 tweets to send me... 😂😂— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 14, 2017
You're beginning to creep me out, Big Green. https://t.co/vF9GXyPP64— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 14, 2017
I wish someone would take you away, mate. This is like being water-boarded. https://t.co/VBtk5etgDg— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 15, 2017
Well, that’s how you manage mischief. A job well done by Big Green Bookshop, we say!