Stop looking for perfect sexual compatibility. It can ruin your sex life | sex and relationships | Hindustan Times
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Stop looking for perfect sexual compatibility. It can ruin your sex life

The pleasure people get from sex is largely influenced by their attitudes on how it should play out with their partner, say researchers.

sex and relationships Updated: Mar 30, 2017 18:13 IST
It works well for couples to keep in mind that sexual satisfaction requires effort and work.
It works well for couples to keep in mind that sexual satisfaction requires effort and work.(Shutterstock)

It may be time to stop searching for your “sexual soulmate” as according to researchers, believing in “the one” can sour your sex life.

The pleasure and satisfaction people get from sex is “largely influenced by the attitudes they hold about how it should play out with their partner(s),” reported Psychology Today.

It all comes down to whether you hold “destiny beliefs” or “growth beliefs.”

The University of Toronto and Dalhousie University study defined sexual growth beliefs as “beliefs that indicate that sexual satisfaction requires effort and work to maintain over the course of time in relationships. Individuals high in sexual growth beliefs believe that challenges in their sex life and sexual incompatibilities with their partner can be overcome with hard work.”

On the other hand, sexual destiny beliefs were defined as “indicate that natural compatibility between sexual partners is the key factor that allows couples to maintain sexual satisfaction, and that struggles in a sexual relationship suggest the relationship is destined to fail. Individuals high in sexual destiny beliefs think that the quality of their sex life will predict their relationship success, meaning they use their sexual relationship as a barometer for how their overall relationship is functioning.”

The study revealed that people who hold sexual growth beliefs reported higher sexual satisfaction, stronger connections during sex and better relationship quality overall than those who maintain that two people are either sexually compatible or not.

The findings also suggested that those who believe in sexual destiny and compatibility might benefit from challenging their own views.

The study is published in APA PsycNet.

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