Listicle: Exercise gadgets that promised but did not deliver

From exercise bikes to fat-loss patches, here are 10 fitness gadgets we bought in hope and discarded in despair

Abandonment issues

• 
  The vibrating belt.

  Vintage magazine ads show that it was a hit in the ’70s and ’80s. Even Utpal Dutt uses one in the 1979 film Gol Maal. The claim: Vibration stimulates fat cells and the jiggle burns it away. Of course, it doesn’t work. Life is never this easy.
• 
  The stationary bike.

  It’s been around since the 1930s. But the familiar version, which tracks pedalling and hypothetical distance covered, was invented in 1968 by American chemist Keene Dimick. It popular in gyms, but rarely at home (try pedalling in one place and see how quickly it gets boring). Over the years, it’s come to serve one purpose only, as a receptacle for clothes you’ve worn, but aren’t ready to toss for washing.
• 
  The Bullworker.

  Was your uncle swayed by photos of muscled dudes (including boxer Muhammad Ali) crushing it on this rod-and-bow-style isometric gadget? The portable home fitness version was invented by Gert F. Kölbel in 1962 and had its heyday in the 1980s. It’s still a good strength-building tool. The hitch: You must already be fairly fit to start with.
• 
  Masai Barefoot shoes.

  Running low on inspiration? Head to Africa. How do the Maasai people manage to have toned thighs and no cellulite? It must because they walk on sand, not flat surfaces. Enter MBT, a brand with convex soles on overpriced sneakers, which claimed to mimic the rolling motion with every step. Paris Hilton wore them. So did Madonna. The gimmick worked from the 1990s to well into the early 2000s.
• 
  The Bowflex.

  What does every 1990s home need? Why, a nice all-in-one gym machine. The Bowflex was every kind of flex. It showed you were keen on all-round fitness, had money, and had a whole room in which to place your bulky device. But where is the bench? Why are there no free weights? The company is nowhere near as popular as it used to be.
• 
  The tummy trimmer.

  When it comes to belly fat, there’s a sucker born every second. Indian ’90s kids will remember cable-TV informercials for these double-spring tools that claimed to spot-target stomach muscles, make crunches easier and promised washboard abs. ₹3,999+ shipping and taxes (and a lot of back pain) later, midsections continue to spread out. And belly fat is often the first to appear and last to go.
• 
  The balance board.

  Go on. Pull it out from where it’s collecting dust under the bed. These upside-down UFOs showed up in the last decade as cheap, elegant ways to build core strength, improve balance, correct posture and tone the body. All the body had to do was stay standing or wobbling, like on a skateboard that went nowhere. It got boring to long before it ever showed results.
• 
  The Fitbit.

  Who knew tracking one’s activity would become such a good fitness motivator? And who knew that we’d give up our personal data and location so easily? The first trackers counted steps even if you were in a bus, boat or elevator. The top-end ones, which tracked sleep and oxygen levels would even predict an incoming bout of Covid. Alas, the company is going out of business, bowing down to the cheaper Garmin and smartphone apps.
• 
  Waist trainer.

  If a corset is like a bra for the torso, think of the waist trainer as a corset for just the abs. Hooks, compression, stretch-resistant fabric, boning and wicking all join forces, hoping you’ll keep it on all day, or at least long enough for the body to learn to stand up straight and keep it snatched in. The Kardashians love it, so no wonder their fans do too. Do they work? Not at all. Instead, core muscles stay unused, getting weaker and users complain of being short of breath, just like in a corset.
• Butterfly abs.

  Even in the 2000s infomercials these vibrating stick-on devices looked too good to be true. Place them on flabby arms, the stomach or jiggly thighs, and they promised to pulsate the fat away, leaving you with a toned body. These were glorified massagers, and not very good ones either – they vibrated so strongly, their own glue couldn’t hold them on to the skin.