Undo unboxing: How one writer went a whole year without giving or taking gifts

No gifting. No receiving. No gift cards even. When one writer decided to forego presents for a year, there was hate, confusion and new signs of creativity

Last year, I was hit by gifting fatigue. Every time a birthday or festival came around, it felt like a noose had slunk around my neck, tightening under threats of tradition and budgeting. So, at the start of 2026, I decided to go gift-less. No giving of things. No receiving them too. It felt virtuous – viral-worthy even. And I spread the word.

Here’s what I didn’t expect: Pushback from friends, family and colleagues who took it as a persona attack. “WDYM you won’t accept gifts?” they asked. “But you have to accept gifts from ME!”

Look, I’m not stuck in an O Henry story. I’m not selling my hair to buy him a watch chain, while he sells his watch to afford hair ornaments for me. I get that gifting is as old as time, that cavemen would offer teeth and meat as offerings, that even crows bring presents for their human friends.

Give your pals the gift of weekly meetups to solve puzzles. (SHUTTERSTOCK)

But this endless loop of buying something to mark every milestone, maintain every social relationship as our networks get wider and wider – it’s a bit much. So, I stuck to my vow. By mid-year, I stopped explaining myself too. I let people feel bad.

Try it for a bit. There’s too much stuff in the world anyway.

Get together to cook something new, or organise a side-by-side date to read. (SHUTTERSTOCK)

Turn time into a gift. Most people spend 45 minutes browsing online for a good present. Some people take hours or days. Take all these minutes and turn them into the gift – explore a neighbourhood together, or set up a long-distance video call. Or sign up for joint gym time or a side-by-side date to read, cook or complete a chore.

Pay it forward. If you’re the receiver, float the idea of people channelling the gift money into a one-time or annual donation to charity. Or just use your anniversary or birthday to build up a fund for the house-help’s or watchman’s family.

The best gift your financially savvy friend can give is to examine your portfolio and give you advice. (SHUTTERSTOCK)

Exchange skills. The best gift your financially savvy friend can give is to examine your portfolio and deliver some hard truths about your investing style. Instead of a present, ask the cousin who kills it in the office to hold a workshop for you on how to handle annoying team leaders. And why expect a stylish colleague to buy you a scarf when he can walk you through a mall one evening and show you exactly how to elevate your own look? Encourage gifts that are about organising a home space, resetting a bookshelf, or driving someone to meet Grandpa when they’ve been putting it off for months.

Say the quiet part out loud. Do the thing the gift was meant to – express the emotion. Write a letter of gratitude, record a voice note about the best memory you have of them, film a montage of the things that remind you of them, dress up like a childhood photo of them and have a laugh together. Or turn your shared moments into a quiz or listicle.

Offer to oversee a friend’s fitness journey, and support their goals with a daily check-in call. (SHUTTERSTOCK)

Gift accountability. What’s better than buying someone a fitness tracker? Offering to oversee their fitness journey, and supporting their goals with a daily check-in call. What’s better than getting someone another set of cast-iron pans? A weekly meetup to cook something new together, eating every mistake until you both get better.

Flip the gift. Not all presents mark a happy occasion. Instead of buying a keepsake to mark a breakup, the loss of a loved one, a retirement or a divorce, consider just offering your wordless presence until they right themselves up again.

From HT Brunch, November 07, 2026

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