A 69-year-old retiree from Mesa, Arizona, who asked to be identified only as “Susan,” received a Facebook message out of the blue in the summer of 2025 from a man named Stephen, who claimed to be a Navy officer stationed in the Middle East. That message, Arizona’s Family reports, started a romance scam that cost her her home and life savings. She now tells her story so nobody else falls into the same trap.
How the romance began
The relationship started off as friendly conversations about their backgrounds. Stephen claimed he was from Virginia. After a few weeks, he suggested they switch to private messaging apps such as WhatsApp and Spike. He began using love names like babe, honey, and sweetheart, and sent romantic good-morning messages. Susan says they never spoke on the phone because Stephen claimed he had no access to one while stationed on a military base in Iraq. Looking back, she says she does not see herself as a dumb person, but she feels very foolish for missing the clues.
When the money requests began
Stephen offered to help Susan with her bills and late RV payments. He promised to send a parcel full of gold, cash, and jewelry for their future together. The package didn’t arrive. Instead, Susan began to receive messages from someone claiming to be a U.S. diplomat, saying money was needed to clear the package through customs. Susan sent $1,200 in cash by mail. She says it felt real and that she believed he was being honest. The requests kept coming, with repeated claims about customs problems.
Eventually, Susan was persuaded to sell her four-bedroom house to get more money. At one point, she told Stephen she had a retirement account, and he wanted her to use that, too. She said no. She sent another $8,000, then $55,000, then $6,100. Together with the first $1,200, the payments the report lists add up to $70,300. The report does not say what the house sold for or how much of the sale money went to Stephen. She realized it was a scam only after telling her financial adviser about the money requests while trying to take out a car loan. Now she lives in a small apartment and struggles to pay her bills.
A problem beyond one story
{{/usCountry}}Eventually, Susan was persuaded to sell her four-bedroom house to get more money. At one point, she told Stephen she had a retirement account, and he wanted her to use that, too. She said no. She sent another $8,000, then $55,000, then $6,100. Together with the first $1,200, the payments the report lists add up to $70,300. The report does not say what the house sold for or how much of the sale money went to Stephen. She realized it was a scam only after telling her financial adviser about the money requests while trying to take out a car loan. Now she lives in a small apartment and struggles to pay her bills.
A problem beyond one story
{{/usCountry}}Susan’s story is not unique. The Federal Trade Commission said nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam in 2022, with reported losses of $1.3 billion. The median reported loss was $4,400, and the $70,300 in payments listed in Susan’s case is far above that figure. The FTC also said social media was the most common way people said they had been contacted, and that, like Stephen, scammers often urged them to switch to other messaging apps. Pretending to be in the military ranked among the most commonly reported lies.
Why families cannot always step in
Phoenix real estate agent Doug Hopkins said romance scams targeting seniors’ homes are becoming more common. He has seen at least six cases over the past year. When he can, he tries to intervene, but his power to stop a sale is limited. He said he had heard of people being scammed out of money before, but never to the point of losing the whole equity in a house. Attorney Dwane Cates explained the reasoning. He said that legally, adults can sell their property even if family members suspect fraud: any adult over 18 can sign a contract to sell what they own, and a realtor can walk away, but the seller can just find another one.
What Susan wants you to know
Susan hopes that by sharing her story, she can prevent others from being caught in similar scams. Her message is clear. As much as you want it to be true, “it’s not real.” Her account also points to how quietly these crimes often play out. An AARP survey fielded in November 2025 found that 55% of romance scam incidents involving adults 50 and older are never reported. It's often because of stigma or not knowing where to turn. Her decision to speak publicly about losing her home and life savings stands against that silence, and she hopes it helps the next person recognize the warning signs sooner.