January was filled with so many clients, friends and family mentioning how it felt like the longest month of the year. The internet too was full of memes about this. Thankfully February is here and somehow it feels a little lighter already. I think it has to do with how we perceive January and put it on a pedestal. Our expectations around learning new skills, competencies, developing new habits is what makes the beginning of the year tough for some of us.
Of course, it helps to know that February is a shorter month and our lens of how we look at our new year resolutions also shifts by this time. So very often in February, I ask clients about what skills they want to develop and in turn develop a realistic plan that helps to slowly work towards it. Human beings are bad at predicting outcomes and as a result, sometimes we underestimate how much time, practice and effort developing a new skill or habit takes. This partially contributes to our sense of disappointment, frustration and then eventually giving up goals mid-way.
Learning new competencies or starting something new which we have resisted for a while is challenging. This is because, the older we grow we run the risk of becoming too rigid or fixed about our preferences. To stick to the tried and tested maintains a certain homeostasis and adds to our self-esteem. At the same time, it stops us from trying new ways of being, skills we can develop, and most importantly, work on our own neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s capacity to change, adapt, form new connections and reorganize and rewire its neural connections.
Learning new skills and developing habits is one of the processes that can allow for this. Dr Rick Hanson; author and well-known psychologist, calls it self-directed neuroplasticity wherein we work actively towards changing our brain. While it sounds simple, the process of doing it requires consistency and before that an acceptance that we want to make changes. Over the last couple of years, I chose a broad goal with specific outcomes and worked towards it throughout the year. This process helped me make incremental changes and at the same time not be disappointed with myself when I was struggling or still trying to develop a muscle for engaging in it. Last year, I actively worked on social fitness – which meant making a mindful choice to meet people, deepen existing friendships, consciously seek out experiences that allowed for connection and most importantly make time for it. When I began working on this, it felt like a herculean goal but more than a year in, it feels like working on this gradually, has changed me and how my brain works too – I feel a greater sense of vitality, and have learnt how investing time and energy in relationships has brought a greater openness and flexibility in relation to how I see people – and this has been freeing in so many ways. Every time we learn a new skill or competency, we also learn to dispel myths and misconception that hold us back. When I started reaching out to people last year to make plans for a play or an art exhibition, I realized how my own inhibitions were coming in the way and most people I reached out to responded with enthusiasm. After years of not wanting to join the gym and resisting it, this year I finally took the plunge and now I am surprised by how much I enjoy it. I thought long walks were enough and the only way I could exercise. Working out at the gym is a reminder of how there is so much to learn, to unlearn and then a chance to see how one’s body can resist the simplest of exercises. Learning new skills or habits also offers us a glimpse into how we react or respond to situations where we are struggling; it offers us a chance to develop patience and even a chance to laugh at ourselves. I have often felt that learning new skills helps you to get better with how and what one sees as failure and in turn redefine what learning means. Possibly adulting is also about developing skills, competencies that allow us to see ourselves and the world in a new light, that’s what makes life exciting and full of wonder.
{{/usCountry}}Learning new skills and developing habits is one of the processes that can allow for this. Dr Rick Hanson; author and well-known psychologist, calls it self-directed neuroplasticity wherein we work actively towards changing our brain. While it sounds simple, the process of doing it requires consistency and before that an acceptance that we want to make changes. Over the last couple of years, I chose a broad goal with specific outcomes and worked towards it throughout the year. This process helped me make incremental changes and at the same time not be disappointed with myself when I was struggling or still trying to develop a muscle for engaging in it. Last year, I actively worked on social fitness – which meant making a mindful choice to meet people, deepen existing friendships, consciously seek out experiences that allowed for connection and most importantly make time for it. When I began working on this, it felt like a herculean goal but more than a year in, it feels like working on this gradually, has changed me and how my brain works too – I feel a greater sense of vitality, and have learnt how investing time and energy in relationships has brought a greater openness and flexibility in relation to how I see people – and this has been freeing in so many ways. Every time we learn a new skill or competency, we also learn to dispel myths and misconception that hold us back. When I started reaching out to people last year to make plans for a play or an art exhibition, I realized how my own inhibitions were coming in the way and most people I reached out to responded with enthusiasm. After years of not wanting to join the gym and resisting it, this year I finally took the plunge and now I am surprised by how much I enjoy it. I thought long walks were enough and the only way I could exercise. Working out at the gym is a reminder of how there is so much to learn, to unlearn and then a chance to see how one’s body can resist the simplest of exercises. Learning new skills or habits also offers us a glimpse into how we react or respond to situations where we are struggling; it offers us a chance to develop patience and even a chance to laugh at ourselves. I have often felt that learning new skills helps you to get better with how and what one sees as failure and in turn redefine what learning means. Possibly adulting is also about developing skills, competencies that allow us to see ourselves and the world in a new light, that’s what makes life exciting and full of wonder.
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