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Move on: Why is HR still stuck on mom and dad as emergency contacts?
Most of us live far from home, rely on friends more than family and fall back on buddy networks. Yet, emergency contact info is still stuck in the past
It’s just a bit of data. Employers, landlords, clinics, even those sketchy guys running adventure sports need to know whom to call in case you need medical assistance on their watch. There’s no law governing who an Indian citizen can list in this field. But both public and private companies tend to insist on a parent, spouse or blood relative. Here’s where it gets thorny: As more of us live away from home, the most reliable port of call is more often a friend, a mentor, an LGBTQ+ ally, a neighbour, perhaps even that nice guy from five Hinge dates ago who became a Platonic buddy. It’s a matter of life and death, not bureaucracy. Who’s going to explain this to the authorities?
Last year, Ahana Singh, 27, working the night shift at a finance company in Bengaluru, developed a sharp pain in her abdomen. It was so intense, she collapsed even before she could reach the washroom. Her colleagues rushed her to a hospital, where it became clear that she needed emergency surgery on her appendix. Her parents were her official emergency contact, but they lived in their hometown in Agra and had health issues of their own. “My roommates and colleagues were by my side throughout my hospital stay,” she recalls. They saved her life. And yet, on paper, they don’t count.
Listing one’s next of kin makes sense in matters of finance – how else will the banks know where to send the family jewels (and debts) when tragedy strikes? But squabbling cousins are hardly useful in healthcare. Poet and political theorist Ashwani Kumar, co-editor of the 2021 book, Migrants, Mobility and Citizenship in India, believes that humans have a fundamental need to form strong, stable relationships. “In urban contexts, when the family is absent, this often shifts to friends and colleagues,” he says. “People are shifting to peer-based, chosen networks of care and solidarity as well.”
Blood bonds are for life. But being forced to list a conservative parent isn’t always in the best interest of someone from a sexual minority. Kumar acknowledges that living alone in a new city can be both liberating and alienating. A surrogate family’s responsibility then, isn’t just to be there when things get rough, it’s to hold off rough weather to begin with. He champions change: “Lovers, trusted friends, neighbours, or local community members should become primary emergency contacts.”
Start-ups and firms with a large section of migrant workers have figured this out already. They’ve set up separate categories of emergency contacts for employees to fill. At a climate-tech startup in Delhi, workers are encouraged to share the details of their family members, of a person who lives in the vicinity and of someone else they trust. Employees choose what they’re comfortable with, “and there’s accountability in times of emergency,” says the firm’s head Priya, who uses only one name.
Dr Sonal Shah, physician at the Emergency Department at Mumbai’s PD Hinduja Hospital and Medical Research Centre, frequently sees cases in which a patient’s designated contact is miles, or even continents, away. The time difference makes immediate communication and decision-making difficult, and those who’ve accompanied the patient rarely have their medical history or allergy information on hand.
Blood relations don’t matter, good carers do, she says. If you’re going up against Human Resources, and picking a bestie over your brother, make sure they know what comes with the job. “They must be aware of your blood type and critical information, such as organ-donation preference,” Shah says. “They must be comfortable speaking to doctors and making urgent medical decisions when you are unable to, and must be able to inform other loved ones about your condition. The person must be reachable, prepared and willing to act when it matters most.” And, of course, they should be able to unlock you phone.
From HT Brunch, May 17, 2025
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