Marriage is often built on shared emotions, love, respect, and the promise of building a fulfilling life with the person you choose to spend it with. We tend to assume that couples who rarely fight or argue are in happy, healthy marriages. Similarly, a smiling couple posing for social media may appear to have a relationship that is thriving. However, behind these seemingly happy moments, some couples may struggle with a form of loneliness that often goes unspoken. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Chandrima Misra Mukherjee, co-head of psychological services at Artemis Hospital, Gurugram, explains the emotional disconnect that can leave couples feeling lonely even when their marriage appears to be going well.
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Signs of disconnection that couples often overlook
Many couples sit across the dinner table and quietly wonder, “Why do I feel so alone?” There are no fights, no betrayal, and no big problems. Yet something feels missing. This experience is more common than most people admit, and it has a name: emotional disconnection.
“Emotional disconnection doesn’t usually happen overnight. It often begins with little unnoticed shifts like conversations being limited to household chores, work schedules, and family responsibilities,” highlighted Dr Mukherjee. Partners may stop sharing their fears, dreams, and day-to-day experiences because they feel the other person is too busy or won’t understand.
Understanding emotional disconnection between partners
According to Dr Mukherjee, the difference between being understood and simply being heard is one of the biggest reasons behind loneliness. A partner may hear the words but not the feelings behind them. When emotional needs are unmet, a person can sit next to their spouse and feel alone. This distance can be widened by dismissing concerns, avoiding difficult conversations, and taking each other for granted.
{{/usCountry}}According to Dr Mukherjee, the difference between being understood and simply being heard is one of the biggest reasons behind loneliness. A partner may hear the words but not the feelings behind them. When emotional needs are unmet, a person can sit next to their spouse and feel alone. This distance can be widened by dismissing concerns, avoiding difficult conversations, and taking each other for granted.
{{/usCountry}}Intimacy does not always follow from the absence of conflict. Sometimes a happy marriage is a sign of emotional withdrawal rather than understanding. It is nice to see this difference now when the gap is easier to close.
How to prevent loneliness?
Rebuilding intimacy begins with small, regular acts: honest conversations, asking good questions, listening without rushing to fix the problem, and giving thanks. Partners can also reconnect if they spend time together without phones and distractions.
According to Dr Mukherjee, if every conversation ends in hurt or silence, couples counseling can create a safe space to explore the underlying issues. In the end, emotional connection is more than commitment; it is curiosity, vulnerability, and willingness to continue to get to know each other as you both change.
Note for the readers: This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a qualified expert for personalised guidance.
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