Not a red flag? It could be a pink flag

There could be times in a relationship or while dating, when one comes across certain traits in their partner that leave them feeling a little iffy — but not enough to break up

There could be times in a relationship or while dating, when one comes across certain traits in their partner that leave them feeling a little iffy — but not enough to break up. It might also feel petty to bring these up. As opposed to red flags, which are clear indications to bring the relationship to a halt, such issues (or non-issues) are called pink flags. These are contextual and can differ for each individual. Here, we get a few millennials to share what counts as a pink flag for them.

Hi…Bye!

For 25-year-old Sameer, a Master’s student, uncertainty and inconsistency in feelings during the initial phase of a relationship is a pink flag. He elaborates, “When people seem interested first but suddenly, their ideas change. Then, they come back like nothing ever happened, and the cycle continues.”

Why it is not a red flag: “There is still hope that things may change once we get to know each other better,” he says.

Hide ’n’ seek

For social media manager Bipasa Datta, 24, hiding your partner from your peers constitutes a pink flag. Datta says, “When someone you are seeing is treating you like a secret, it is a matter of concern. For instance, you run into their friends and they don’t introduce you to them.”

Suspiciously sweet

For architect Durga Prasad, 29, if a partner is suddenly acting sweet, it is a definite pink flag. He says, “A sudden change in behaviour is always because of an underlying reason, mostly not good. Be it a positive or a negative change, it raises concerns nevertheless.”

Why it is not a red flag: Prasad says, “The trust factor in your relationship might keep it from turning into a red flag.”

Clash of personalities

Content developer Achyut Siddu, 29, shares, “When you are an introvert and the other person is an extrovert, it is so difficult to hang out with them. I may want to sit back home and watch a movie, whereas my partner wants to go out dancing. Extroverts are loud and for an introvert, that can be a pink flag.”

Why it is not a red flag: Siddu says, “If I am in love with this person, I will overlook this.”

What to do

“Engage in an open non-judgemental conversation with phrases like ‘This is how I feel about it’ instead of ‘This is what you always do’,” says clinical psychologist Gunjan Ryder. But it also depends on what one is looking for. “If you are dating casually, it’s not your prerogative to change a person. You may choose to move on,” adds psychologist Pulkit Sharma.

Author tweets @digvijayitis