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‘Tera banda ameer hai’: Bengaluru woman calls out ‘mindset’ after friend assumes boyfriend bought her iPhone
A Bengaluru woman questioned stereotypes after a friend credited her iPhone purchase to her partner.
A Bengaluru woman has sparked a debate online after recounting how a friend assumed that her newly purchased iPhone was a gift from her boyfriend rather than something she bought herself.
Taking to X, Anu shared a detailed post about an incident that left her unsettled. “We both were dating when I bought my first iPhone. I met a friend two days after and his first statement was ‘Sahi hai bhai, bande ne phone dila diya’ I looked at him curiously and asked that why did he think it’s a gift from my guy and not something I have brought. His reply shook me. He said ‘Tera banda ameer hai, it’s pretty obvious why you choose him.’”
She added that the comment was especially hurtful because it came from someone she had known for five years. “This was a friend I have known for 5 years. He knew me, I paid the bills every time we hung out as he was unemployed that time. He knew how I would split bills, how I would not even accept an expensive gift from anyone. I just kept on staring at him, horrified about the way he thinks.”
‘Why are our achievements blurred once a man is involved?’
Anu said she later spoke to a married friend who revealed she had faced similar assumptions in the past. “Why as a woman, our achievements are blurred out once a man is involved? I know women who have brought their own houses, their own cars, travel international, take care of their families. When are we going to leave this mindset behind?”
Take a look here at the post:
Internet reacts
Her post has garnered more than 45,000 views and several reactions, with many women sharing comparable experiences.
One user wrote, “The reason I never accept any expensive gifts from a man or try to pay the bills on dates is because the moment they start paying, these thoughts begin hovering in my mind. I feel a lot of pressure then, fearing I will be judged for something I am not.” Another commented, “He is not entirely at fault. One of my good female friends got rokafied and the very next day she was showered with a brand new iPhone 17 worth ₹80,000 by her fiancé.”
“I completely agree, and similar things have happened to me as well,” read one response. Another user shared, “OMG, this is so true. I have personally experienced it many times. Just today, I was talking to a friend and telling him that I was facing some issues with my phone. His first reply was, ‘Date a guy and he will buy you a new one.’”
Some reactions were blunt. “Lose this kind of ‘friend’,” one person advised, while another suggested the remark may have been driven by envy, writing, “Secretly jealous.”
(Disclaimer: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.)
