Not necessary to get into a relationship: Cyrus Broacha’s love advice

  • Cyrus Broacha, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Jan 25, 2016 11:30 IST
Cyrus Broacha is a TV anchor-theatre personality-comedian-political-satirist-columnist and author. He writes a weekly column for Hindustan Times. (HT Photo)

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

Read: Sometimes, just say no, says Cyrus Broacha

I like a guy who’s already dating someone for the last two years. I think he likes me. When I told him that I like him, he said he appreciates that I told him the truth. But I want to know if he too likes me. Also, I don’t want him to break up with his girlfriend. How stupid am I?-- AT


The stupidity scale has an enormous range, it’s about never ending on both sides like an old ­fashioned Hindi flick. Though I’ve never met you, I’m your friend, confidante and guide — although only for the next four sentences. The problem here is when you confessed your feeling, he thanked you, but didn’t reciprocate. That’s like a great whale shark complimenting you on your hourglass figure and then devouring you whole. (Though I’m told sharks generally don’t eat the shoes and what you’re doing with leather shoes in the great wide ocean is another story). You’ve played your hand, now sit back and let him play his. If he doesn’t respond and avoids you, you have your answer. If he’s not ­awkward, then you’re still in the competition. Just please don’t wear shoes.

Read: Don’t be in a hurry to propose

I love a guy who also loves me. He wants to get physical with me without committing because he has trust issues. I told him I can’t do this until he marries me. But he won’t understand. What should I do?-- AK


The Comanche war hero, Wakashuchee (one who doesn’t wear underwear) is the first leader to draw up very clear physical contracts between man and woman. Initially, it was a one line contract between him and his first wife Ingeetaha. The line said: “If she refused him physical contact, she’d be scalped.” Ultimately, Ingeetaha, though never scalped, died of pneumonia. This may have been caused by him holding her underwater in freezing cold temperatures for over two and a half minutes. Now, AK, times have changed. Write your own contract. You don’t trust him either. If you want to wait till marriage, then stand your ground. My wife-to-be did the same. After 15 years of ­marriage, the status is the same.

Read: Why live a lie? Take Cyrus Broacha’s love advice

Is it necessary to get into a relationship at 17, even if you’re not prepared to date someone? Especially, if this person’s priorities are parents, friends, relatives? Please help-- Confused


Let me tell you from the benefit of experience. Forget 17. It is not necessary to get into a relationship at 26, 43, 87, 104 or even in the next life. Relationships are highly overrated. In the modern age, even more so. You have the Internet, TV, radio, interactive gaming, adult erotic literature, food apps, live sports, fashions trends, even old fashioned books to help you tide your time. In fact, as we age, many people feel burdened with relationships that come in the way of their TV time. The other day, as I was watching West Indies vs, Australia, and the wife asked me to turn the ­geyser off. Due to this enforced ‘relationship’, I missed Steve Smith’s ­crucial runs that got him to a 100. I can never get that back. But geysers you can put on and off all day. So don’t feel pressured. Say no to drugs, upma, poha and relationships — all overrated experiences.

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