Inner realms: Don’t dwell on the past, live in the moment

Often times, if you pause and think, you’ll realise that you are either thinking of the past or worrying about the future. “Why did I do that? Why did he say that? What will happen?” are the kind of thoughts that race through your mind. Mindfulness is the opposite.

Years ago, a woman, who had gone through a rough break-up with her boyfriend, found herself constantly angry, depressed and nursing deep resentment. She would constantly remember the day of the break up – when her boyfriend said some mean things to her. She would talk about the incident every day.

Mindfulness is like the invitation back into the present. It is as if you are watching your own self, your feelings, your thoughts from outside as an observer – without any expectation or judgement. (Shutterstock)

One day, a great teacher of mindfulness visited her. As she recounted the incident to him, he remarked, “Young lady, that event ended a year ago. Is it still happening to you?”

Over the next few days, he taught her to be mindful and soon she was healed and found joy again.

Repeating negative emotional incidents, real or imagined, known as rumination, is said to contribute a lot to depression.

Often times, if you pause and think, you’ll realise that you are either thinking of the past or worrying about the future. “Why did I do that? Why did he say that? What will happen?” are the kind of thoughts that race through your mind.

Mindfulness is the opposite. Mindfulness is like the invitation back into the present. It is as if you are watching your own self, your feelings, your thoughts from outside as an observer – without any expectation or judgement.

It is important to connect with what is actually happening inside and around you so as not to get lost in distractions and fruitless worries.

Science has shown conclusively how mindfulness can help in healing, dealing with the unique stresses of youth, exams, break-ups and much more.

Through mindfulness, you learn to manage your thoughts and emotions more effectively, thus reducing stress and anxiety. You can, ultimately be the master of your life.

Mindfulness is perhaps the most researched system of mind training, boasting of 16,581 scientific publications from 1966 to 2021. Scientific studies say that practising mindfulness can bring about positive changes in the structure of our neural networks.

Professor Susan Smalley of the Mindful Awareness Research Centre (MARC) at University of California, Los Angeles, USA, says the repeated practice of mindfulness can reduce chronic physical pain, boost the body’s immune system, improve concentration, reduce overeating, alcoholism and smoking. A distinct improvement in relationships is also observed in those practising mindfulness.

It isn’t that problems do not appear for those practicing mindfulness, rather their handling mechanisms improve substantially, giving rise to greater well-being.

Mindfulness de-stresses your sympathetic nervous system which is responsible for the fight or flight response. Just a three-minute practice can stimulate the anterior cingulate gyrus, which is responsible for learning, memory and emotional regulation.

So how do you practice mindfulness. It’s simple. Sit comfortably and relax. Gently close your eyes. As you relax, observe your breath, how it flows in and out.

Do not judge, do not try to change anything. Relax and be present. Gently feel your breath. Also experience and know your thoughts, emotions, feelings. Relax deeply, as if going to sleep—let go, let it happen. Now slowly open your eyes

(Disclaimer: The views expressed are the author’s own).

Parneet Sachdev is a Consultant, Author, Professor of Eminence and former Principal Chief Commissioner Income Tax.