HT Exclusive | AR Rahman says he was terrified of live performances, agrees that Roja was his 'peak'

AR Rahman talks to Hindustan Times about his upcoming concerts in Mumbai and Delhi as part of The Wonderment Tour, and his musical journey so far.

He has been the most celebrated Indian composer of his age. A two-time Oscar winner, Grammy winner, and globally celebrated, AR Rahman draws crowds wherever he goes. The composer-performer is in the middle of his Wonderment Tour, which is coming to Mumbai and Delhi in the coming days. Ahead of his ‘homecoming’, Rahman sat down with Hindustan Times to discuss his musical journey, the initial ‘fear’ of live performances, and why being in music is a blessing. Excerpts:

HT: You are someone who is a very reclusive composer. You like to do your work mostly at night alone. But then when you are on stage, you're a powerhouse performer. So which Rahman comes more naturally to you? The composer who sits in a room or the performer who's on stage?

AR Rahman is set to perform in Mumbai and Delhi-NCR as part of his Wonderment Tour. (Photo: Instagram)

Rahman: I think both. There was a time when I was on stage I felt like I was seeing death. I was so terrified! Now, it's been the 30 years from my first performance in '96 in Malaysia to what we're doing now in various things—one with the symphony orchestras in the US, and Wonderment, which is a big entertainment extravaganza. My music was so different and it was hard to interpret for musicians on stage. So it took a bit of time to take those liberties to live up everything, get the right kind of musicians who would add things and not destroy what was created for months. And so now I'm more comfortable.

HT: Since you said now you're more comfortable on stage, do you have to prep yourself or is a switch flipped as soon as you go on stage and the performer comes out?

Rahman: They're coming for an experience and excitement. I don't overdo things, but I do have something that surprises them. When we work hard on a concept and it clicks, it feels very gratifying. With Wonderment especially, it's been 34 years since Roja. It's not just me traveling—there are directors, lyricists, singers, storytellers, actors, and then the fans. Every bit of their life—whether love stories, hope, winning, losing, or loss—everything is connected to a song. Songs release every two or three months with a new movie and soundtrack. If you look at the poster, there are various different paths of people's lives—graduating, a baby born, marriage, first love—all in that garland.

HT: Like you said, music connects with people in the milestones of their lives. Does it ever get overwhelming when people say your music has been the soundtrack to their lives?

Rahman: No, I feel like it's a blessing to be in music, first of all. Luckily, I was sane enough to filter and do less work, but focus on quality. Now when I think about it, I'm really proud of the fact that whether the movie did well or not, my job had to be great within my limits. When I look back, every musician, singer, and director is proud of that work. When the same people come after 30 years and watch two different generations vibing with it, it's very gratifying.

HT: On a lighter note, people often say: 'Rahman's best work or peak was Roja.' Any reaction to that?

Rahman: It is true! In my first movie, I felt like I had given everything I had evolved into. But film work is not a one-person thing. It's like chemistry—oxygen with hydrogen becomes water; with carbon it becomes carbon monoxide! With each team, a different angle of me comes out. Working with Subhash Ghai on Taal is different, working with Mani Ratnam on Roja or Bombay is different, with Imtiaz Ali on Rockstar is different, and Danny Boyle on Slumdog Millionaire is different. You get inspired by the story, direction, and vision of a team.

HT: After a 30-to-34-year journey, if today's Rahman had to give young Rahman a simple message in one or two lines, what would it be?

Rahman: Actually, I feel like I am that Rahman. Mentally, I have not grown old! I still have the same enthusiasm, curiosity about music and new talent, and fascination with new artists, composers, and directors. That has never faded away.

AR Rahman will perform at Jio World Garden, Mumbai on November 1 and Backyard Sports Club, Delhi on November 21, as part of his Wonderment Tour. The three hour musical experience brings together some of his most iconic 90s compositions alongside his contemporary work, with a large scale live production and international ensemble. The composer’s next soundtrack is Ramayana, for which he has collaborated with Hollywood legend Hans Zimmer for the first time. The film releases on November 5.