Debina Bonnerjee: My journey to conceive was tough, now my daughter is here and she is our miracle

After 11 years of marriage, Debina Bonnerjee and Gurmeet Choudhary welcomed their first child, a daughter, on April 3, and Bonnerjee admits the feeling of finally becoming parents hasn’t sunk in yet

After 11 years of marriage, Debina Bonnerjee and Gurmeet Choudhary welcomed their first child, a daughter, on April 3, and Bonnerjee admits the feeling of finally becoming parents hasn’t sunk in yet.

Debina Bonnerjee and Gurmeet Choudhary become parents to baby girl on April 3

She is emotional, overwhelmed and anxious all at once ever since she welcomed her baby daughter, and says her pregnancy was tough, emotionally and physically, but everything is worth it. We catch up with a new mom about embracing motherhood, here are excerpts from the conversation:

* Has the feeling of being a new mom sunk in yet?

Everything is surreal. It is overwhelming, exciting, emotional, exhilarating and all at the same time. I have a sense of anxiety combined with a total sense of calmness, if that even makes sense! I understand my own mother so much more now, because the feeling that holding your child, and the protective instinct as a mother to your baby, you can only understand when you have your baby.

* Who will decide the name?

Both of us will! We have waited for our baby for such a long time, everything is a joint decision from diapers to her name to room colour etc! Doing it together, makes this journey even more enriching.

* Can you take us through the feeling you had when you held your daughter for the very first time?

As I said, I was too overwhelmed with emotions. It was mine and Gurmeet’s dreams, prayers, our family and fans blessings, that kept me going and waiting for this day to come. And when finally she was here, with me I think I was too overcome with emotions to even react, I still am. She has the power to make me laugh and cry at one time, she rules our universe.

* How would you describe yourself as a mother?

I have seen my own protective side come out like never before. I am just like what my mother was, if that even makes sense. I want to protect my daughter and I want to let her soar and grow up to be an independent young woman. I want to be her best friend and confidante but always be her mother too. I would describe myself as nurturing, loving, giving, and also sleep deprived but never complaining !

* Do you call yourself an anxious mother?

Yes, every mother is ! It comes as a birthright now. I would make fun of my mom for always fussing over me, now I totally get it!

* Going on to Gurmeet, tell us how is he taking on this new role of a father?

Gurmeet was always the perfect father. He has been my best friend, my husband, my rock, my protective armour, my guide, my everything. I have seen that care and concern for me, now transcend into our family unit. He is the best father one can ask for and we are blessed to have him there, 24-7 helping and managing us.

* How has the baby girl renewed your and Gurmeet’s bond?

Your bond as a couple naturally transfers to one as parents. Nothing is about us anymore. It is all about our child, our dreams and hopes for her. As a couple. you are there for each other, planning holidays and a home but as parents, it’s all together different. It is all about the baby we have hoped and prayed for, nothing else matters. But yes, he is there for me, feeding me because I tend to forget and massaging my swollen feet and staying up with us, it’s just a different bond.

* How do you look back on the experience of pregnancy? You were also active on social media, but also faced a lot of judgements?

There are so many judgements that a pregnant woman faces. From all the tips on what to wear, what not to wear, what to eat, how to exercise, to old wives tales, one has to do what works for you, without a fear of that judgement as that all affects the already clouded pregnant mind and body. your body is changing so much, you are growing a tiny human, it is a miracle of life, and all the while, women are still told things which are honestly not needed. I hope my posts help reach women in the same position or even not, to be able to free and do what you want as its your baby, your body, your rules.

* You call your daughter your “little miracle”. How are you cherishing being a mother, as you have also shared about your tough journey of conceiving?

She is indeed our miracle. It was tough, emotionally, physically but everything is worth it when I see her face. I am thankful, grateful and full of happiness with all the support I got from the world over. The pressure to have a child, only a woman who is trying to can understand that pain, that feeling only a couple waiting for their own child to enter the world can understand. And to see so many women, across ages, across faiths, across countries, all facing the same problems, one realises how blessed we all are and we have to be there for each other. My journey may have been tough, but with the help of my family, my husband, my friends, my fans and my blessings, my daughter is here and she is indeed our miracle.