Alfa Satyajit, 29, Store manager
Bony Sasidharan, 40, Hair expert
Been living together for:
A year.
Do you have each other’s passwords?
We exchanged phone, not social media, passwords when we started living together. We use each other’s phones to use apps in their phones.
Do you think you give your partner enough space?
We have an unspoken understanding. Like, Alfa needs me-time in the morning, so Bony stays out of her way.
Do you meet friends separately too?
Yes, more than a couple of times a week.
What’s the individual me-time you have?
We watch something separately twice a week. If we need more space, we say it.
Do you plan each other’s finances?
We don’t have a joint account or investments but take each other’s advice in investing and spending. We share household expenses.
Charu Mendiratta, 39, Brand merchandiser & Jitin Gupta, 39, IT salesperson
{{/usCountry}}Charu Mendiratta, 39, Brand merchandiser & Jitin Gupta, 39, IT salesperson
{{/usCountry}}Been married for:
Eight years.
Do you have each other’s passwords?
Yes, since we got married. Charu forgets her passwords, so Jitin remembers them! We don’t mind the other person being on the phone. We’ve never snooped, even if tempted.
Do you think you give your partner enough space?
We enjoy our own space. When one of us is travelling, it’s an opportunity to miss the other person.
Do you meet friends separately too?
Most of our friends are common friends. So, we’re usually hanging out together.
What’s the individual me-time you have?
We travel back from work from the same place in separate cars just to give space!
Do you plan each other’s finances?
We’re have common savings and an account.
Umang Vanshika, 31, Sales and education manager & Vikram Dhindaw, 33, Creative director
Been living together for:
Two years.
Do you have each other’s passwords?
No. And we made it a point. We’ve never gone through each other’s emails or Instagram etc.
Do you think you give your partner enough space?
We work in separate rooms but cook and get groceries together. We’ve realised being straightforward instead of sulking or being passive aggressive works better and is productive.
Do you meet friends separately too?
We have our individual sets of friends, whom we meet at least three times a month.
What’s the individual me-time you have?
It’s completely normal for us to sit in different rooms and do our own thing.
Do you plan each other’s finances?
We don’t discuss money.
And the winner are…All three
“Grow together, don’t interfere”
“All thee of them are winners as all they understand what space is. When these basic things trust and communication are there, you don’t even feel the need for space,” says Dr Jyoti Kapoor, adding, “When you’re together, individuality often takes a backseat and you must work as a team to build a life together. Not sharing passwords is fine, as is knowing it and not snooping. If we don’t give our partner the space to be who they are, resentment occurs. Space is important as every individual needs a sense of self-worth.”
Tips to give each other space:
Space doesn’t always mean physical space but is about respecting each other’s boundaries. Regard your partner as a person who had a life before you. Do separate things that you enjoy. Accept each other’s choices and preferences. If your partner is going through a rough patch and doesn’t want to share, let it be. Communication is key. The idea is to grow together and not interfere.
From HT Brunch, February 13, 2022
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