The digital era comes with many eccentric habits and quirks, one of which is rereading a message you already sent and overthinking whether you said the right thing. Every punctuation, emoji and letter is scrutinised to evaluate if the tone sounded rude, or reply was too curt or a better emoji could have gone. Before you know it, a simple text triggered anxiety.
Once you know the psychology behind it, you will be able to improve impulse control. A senior consultant psychologist at Apollo Hospitals, Navi Mumbai, Dr Rituparna Ghosh, simplified why sent messages have such a vicious cycle of overthinking and how one can stop this habit.
Why do you keep re-checking sent messages?
The first reason is how the message is received. The psychologist attributed the anxiety to a loss of control, which means you cannot tell how the receiver has interpreted the text.
She said, “When we send a message, we lose control of how it lands. We cannot see the other person's face, we cannot adjust our words in real time, and we are left waiting. For someone who worries about being judged or misunderstood, that wait is uncomfortable. So, they go back and read what they sent, looking for anything that could go wrong.”
But before you know it, you are biting your nails, wondering how it will go. Dr Ghosh explained that recurrent checking offers relief, but it is short-lived, as the anxiety was never really about the message.
{{/usCountry}}But before you know it, you are biting your nails, wondering how it will go. Dr Ghosh explained that recurrent checking offers relief, but it is short-lived, as the anxiety was never really about the message.
{{/usCountry}}The other reason could be perfectionism, where there is pressure to communicate perfectly. So, a person who is a perfectionist makes even ordinary texts a mission to be flawless.ALSO READ: 5 breathing techniques to try when stress makes it hard to focus, from box breathing to the 4-7-8 technique
The psychologist warned that repeatedly checking messages can become a way of seeking reassurance. When you feel unable to leave a message unchecked or find yourself revisiting sent texts and DMs, don't let the habit continue.
How to stop this habit?
Breaking this habit begins with accepting that you cannot always know how someone will respond.
Dr Ghosh suggested, "What helps is learning to sit with the discomfort of not knowing. Not checking the message. Not going back. Letting it be sent and trusting that it is enough. That tolerance, small as it sounds, is actually one of the most powerful things you can build. And if the urge to keep checking is affecting your sleep or your focus at work, that is worth talking to someone about.”
If you let this habit continue, the brief relief can keep you trapped in a cycle of repeatedly checking, and it will soon interfere with your sleep, concentration, and work.
Monitor your impulse control, and if it gets too much, consider reaching out to a mental health professional, especially if it disturbs your daily life.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
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