Chill and laugh it off: Study reveals playfulness in relationships may be the secret to keep jealousy in check

A study uncovered the various playfulness types which influence jealousy and attachment styles. All are helpful, except one playfulness type. Find out.

‘Take it easy and chill’ is not just a mantra for dealing with life’s challenges but also for nurturing relationships. Relationships have their fair share of ups and downs, but a little bit of humour, inside jokes- a sense of playfulness can make everything seem manageable.

Keeping it relaxed and playful may help in reducing jealousy and make one feel secure about their relationship.

A study published in Scientific Reports explores how this carefree playfulness in relationships affects attachment styles and jealousy. These are two defining factors of a relationship which can make or break its course.

Understanding attachment style and jealousy

Attachment styles denote how one connects and forms intimacy in relationships. Researchers describe it as an inner mode or blueprint that moulds how people in a relationship become close to their partners. On the other hand, jealousy is how one reacts when they feel like their relationship might be threatened, like worrying that someone else might come between them and their partner. Jealousy is about feeling upset and suspicious if the relationship is seen as being at risk.

These two factors are important to a relationship. As per the research, playfulness influences them.

How playfulness impacts

Being playful keeps relationship easy and relaxed. (Shutterstock)

Playfulness is all about taking life in a relaxed, fun and light-hearted manner. The study broke down playfulness into 4 types:

• Other-directed playfulness: It is centred on a lot of fun and laughter to ease up any distressing situation, sharing inside jokes or making goofy faces.
• Intellectual playfulness: It is about being imaginative and curious, engaging in playful thinking together. A person with this playfulness type engages in creative thinking.
• Whimsical playfulness: This playfulness is quirky, eccentric, and unconventional- like being weird together- mismatched socks, twinning in unconventional costumes, impromptu karaoke sessions and so on.
• Lighthearted playfulness: This playfulness type is about staying cool, relaxed, and not stressing over anything- like if food gets burnt, people with this playfulness type will suggest getting pizza instead. They don't make a big deal out of anything.

Playfulness and attachment type

The study found that people with higher levels of other-directed, lighthearted, and intellectual playfulness tend to have more secure attachment styles. Playfulness helps them feel more confident about the stability of their relationships. However, whimsical playfulness may not always be as secure because of the fear that they are not doing enough, or their quirky humour may not be fully understood by their partner, making them anxious.

Playfulness and jealousy

Playfulness also influences jealousy, which can be categorised into three types - cognitive jealousy, such as having thoughts like 'What if they are cheating on me?'; emotional jealousy, which involves feelings of sadness, anger, or insecurity; and behavioural jealousy, such as checking their phone or frequently questioning them.

Playful people are calm, so they don't experience emotional jealousy. They won't get worked up and feel sad or angry if they see a threat to their relationship.

However, one type of playfulness - whimsical playfulness is a bit different. Even if they may not be emotionally distressed, they show both cognitive and behavioural jealousy. They will be suspicious, overthink and even check their partner's phone.

People who show whimsical playfulness, even if it's fun, do not get emotionally shaken by jealousy, but their quirky, unpredictable nature might make them overanalyse situations. Whimsical playfulness is the one that goes big on eccentric, unexpected, and unpredictable gestures that can be fun. But because of this same unpredictable playfulness, they may not be as secure and may show jealous behaviours. They don't know how they are being received and may overthink.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.