Dos and don’ts of a healthy relationship

From having miscommunications to circling back to tough conversations, here are a few things that are normal in a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is based on trust, loyalty and communication. It also requires two people to accept each other’s imperfections and traumas and still be with each other through hard and good times. A general notion is there that no relationship is perfect – however, this should not be the standard of making us stick to relationships that are causing us physical, mental and emotional harm. Speaking of the same, Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders wrote, “The goal is not perfection. Healthy relationships have their share of tests, frustrations, and hard conversations. Relationships take practice, and there are bumps along the way. However, the phrase no relationship is perfect shouldn’t be used to validate staying in a relationship that is detrimental to your physical / mental health or wellbeing. There is danger in normalising things that are not ok.”

Do’s and don’ts of a healthy relationship

Emily further added that a healthy relationship is based on a lot of things - “Relationships that are moving towards a healthier place have individuals who take accountability, are open to feedback, and are a safe place for one another to work through issues together.”

Feelings: When two people’s emotions are involved, it is bound to get hurt as well.

Miscommunications: Two people also go through phases where people find gaps within their communications, hence, miscommunications are bound to happen.

Frustration: When two people have been together for a long time, sometimes they can start being frustrated with each other and it is fine as well.

Boundaries: Boundaries change as we go through growth. It is important to restate the boundaries.

Space: Space in relationships is extremely important, otherwise it states to become suffocating.

Tough conversations: Spinning, circling and coming back to difficult conversations is also a normal thing in a relationship.

Things that should not happen in a healthy relationship:

Promises: if promises are being broken on a daily basis, it is time to re-evaluate the relationship.

Fear: The scare of being shut down or a fight in case of you speaking up for yourself is an unhealthy thing.

Belittling: if the relationship feels like a trap and being constantly being belittled, and made to stay away from friends and family, it is unhealthy.

Secrecy and load of the relationship: If you feel constantly being burdened with the load of the relationship and having to maintain a lot of secrets, it is not a healthy relationship.