Who is really the problem in your relationship? 8 signs it might be you

If you are quick to blame your partner, look inward to check if you are the red flag instead. With the help of these 8 signs, take one step towards healing.

Everyone's always on the lookout for red flags in their dates or partners. But let’s be real, if everyone’s got an innate red flag radar, calling out the toxic behaviours, then who's actually the red flag? It might be a punch in the gut, but sometimes it may just be you. Whether you realise it or not, you may be unknowingly brushing them off. But self-awareness can help you overcome your blind spots.

Red flags aren't always obvious, sometimes they are right under your nose (or within yourself.) (Shutterstock)

Jon Dabach, Relationship coach, who regularly shares tips on dating and relationships, took to Instagram on 30 May to drop 8 signs you are the problem in the relationship, and not the other way round.

Here are the 8 signs from the relationship coach shared that may help you better introspect on your role and dynamics in the relationship:

8 signs you are the toxic one in a relationship

2. You dismiss your partner’s feelings as overreactions.

3. You rarely apologise, and if you do, it’s usually followed by a ‘but.’

4. You stonewall or give the silent treatment instead of addressing the conflict.

5. You constantly criticise instead of offering constructive feedback.

6. You expect your partner to read your mind.

7. You bring up the past to score points in the present.

8. You blame everything on your partner’s faults without examining your own.

What to do about it?

It's normal to get defensive; we all have a habit of seeing ourselves in a positive light. But if, while cross-checking, you find yourself resembling a red flag or two, instead of losing your cool denying the uncomfortable truth, calm down and see it as an opportunity to grow.

The relationship explained how the first step towards healing is self-awareness, and it's nothing to get embarrassed over. Jon said, “Now, if you see yourself in any of these, take a breath. Self-awareness isn't shame, it's your first step towards real change. Relationships don't need perfect people, they need honest ones willing to grow.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.