Covid-19: Coming to terms with mortality, understanding life even more

Transiting from a set pattern of life to a new one, however temporarily, has its fears, but also offers rewards.

For the past week, I’ve been snacking on newspapers, chomping on books, and have binge-watched The Test, a riveting documentary on Australian cricket’s revival in the past year or so – all these interspersed with visitations to social media platforms and spells of uninterrupted music.

Mumbai, India - March 20, 2020: Railway Medical staff check temperature of the passengers ahead of Coronavirus (COVID19) threat, at Lokmanya Tilak Terminus in Mumbai, India, on Friday, March 20, 2020. (Photo by Pratik Chorge/Hindustan Times) (Pratik Chorge/HT Photo)

This might seem like a fantastic routine. Don’t we all dream of days when we have no deadline to chase, no great pressure to perform, just chill, relax and do everything you’ve probably been promising yourself for days, weeks, months, perhaps years?

No deal. There are in the world people of great equanimity, who can remain sanguine in the deepest crisis and hat tip to them. For me such an idyllic scenario was a chimera once COVID19 was officially declared a pandemic.

The real challenge is in adapting swiftly to a new rhythm of life. However modest or meagre the change, this can cause upheavals. It’s like adjusting to your own bedroom in which you’ve lived and slept for several years now, now suddenly enveloped in complete darkness for an undefined period of time.

You may know every inch of the place, yet the steps become haltering and apprehensive, unsure what pitfall exists. Life’s certainties have been hit for a six. Suddenly and completely against the run of play, as it were. It can leave you defenceless and lost.

This hits hard first when you can’t do things you wouldn’t have otherwise thought twice about. I started missing doing laps around Mahalaxmi Racecourse, my regimen for several years, till we moved to Bandra. I walk regularly on Carter Road or Band Stand, but started pining for the racecourse again.

And eating at Swati Snacks, which I pass by almost every day, yet haven’t been to in a few years, or just hanging loose at Gateway of India. Or wanting to see my CA for some clarification that can easily be done on mail or a phone call. And so on.

When you realize that everything one takes for granted is not now available, it can be terribly disorienting and leave you feeling empty. It took a couple of days – hour by hour -- to settle nerves, adjust to the new reality

Monitoring a crumbling stock market, the political shenanigans in Madhya Pradesh, fate of the Tokyo Olympics and other ‘hot news’ – on TV or social media -- grabbed my attention initially. But this too started to faze.

Irresistible as the pull of the electronic and digital world, the lure of social media maybe, enforced time on your hands takes you wandering into past pleasures. Towards the end of the second day, I dived headlong into my bookshelf.

In recent years, I’ve become a nibbly reader, spending barely 10-15 minutes on a book in a day, usually before sleeping. Extensive reading, such a joy in my growing up years, seemed a story from the past. I willed myself to add a new chapter to this story.

In four days I’ve devoured three books: C L R James’s immortal Beyond A Boundary, Abraham Eraly’s fabulous tome on the Mughals, The Last Spring and Sunil Gavaskar’s timeless Sunny Days. I’ve read all three books earlier, but discovered new meanings and nuances, which is the splendor of classics.

These books buffered my near non-stop viewing of ‘The Test’, a narrative on how Australian cricket, down in the dumps after the one year bans on Steve Smith and David Warner for ball tampering, has come through since under new coach Justin Langer.

The viewer is given an inside view on how players think, talk, react in times of victory and stress, how playing elevens are chosen, team spirit built up, et al. It’s gripping because of the access to players, dressing room, selectors etc by Cricket Australia, setting a new benchmark in sports docudramas.

Between books and (sensible) TV shows, music (old and new), and with a sharp exercise regimen added to the mix, the early fretting has dissipated. Filling up the hours does not feel as onerous as one imagined at the start. In fact, there is almost a shortage of time!

There is no set formula to tackle such extenuating circumstances of course, each one to their own. For instance, a friend, who had lost the art of writing by hand, and even his handwriting, has decided to use self-isolation to regain his prowess with an old-fashioned fountain pen!

Transiting from a set pattern of life to a new one, however temporarily, has its fears, but also offers rewards. And some lessons too. In the time of COVID19, the biggest one is coming to terms with mortality, understanding and appreciating life even more for that.