A Reddit post from an Indian working man employed abroad has ignited a discussion regarding familial responsibilities and financial limits, as he stated that his parents requested an additional ₹15-20 lakh to assist in purchasing a home for his elder brother, despite having financially supported the family for several years.
NRI shares family's financial burden on Reddit
In a Reddit post, the man stated that he had previously contributed ₹19 lakh for his brother's wedding and had dedicated years to assisting his parents with their debts, monthly expenses, and providing financial support during the Covid-19 pandemic.
The post, which has now gained significant attention, elicited numerous responses, with many Reddit users encouraging him to cease viewing himself as the family's financial safety net and to focus on his own future. However, HT.com cannot independently verify the user's claim.
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From India to abroad
According to the Reddit post, the man was employed in India for six years prior to relocating abroad three years ago. He mentioned that in the initial years of his career, he lived "paycheck to paycheck".
{{/usCountry}}According to the Reddit post, the man was employed in India for six years prior to relocating abroad three years ago. He mentioned that in the initial years of his career, he lived "paycheck to paycheck".
{{/usCountry}}He further stated that he purchased an apartment in his third year of work and is still making payments on its EMI. His parents currently reside in that apartment.
The user also provided information regarding his elder brother's professional journey, noting that his brother dedicated five years to preparing for government job examinations before finally obtaining a position at a public sector bank.
Financial support to family
The Reddit user stated that he had already made considerable financial contributions to his brother's wedding.
He mentioned that he provided ₹10 lakh as a gift and lent an additional ₹9 lakh to ensure that the wedding commenced without any external debt. He noted that the borrowed sum has not yet been repaid, although he indicated that he has not been actively seeking repayment.
"My elder brother on the other hand was trying for govt jobs for 5 years and finally secured a job at a PSB. Now, for his marriage I gave 10L and another 9L as debt to avoid starting the marriage with outside debt. He hasn't started paying me back, but that is ok if he wants to take some time," the NRI wrote.
The situation intensified when, as per the post, his parents requested that he contribute towards the purchase of an apartment valued at approximately ₹1.1 crore for his brother.
He asserted that they initially expected him to pay ₹40 lakh as a down payment for a property that would be registered solely in his brother's name.
The person stated that he strongly opposed this proposal.
Nearly six months following the wedding, his family reportedly came back with an updated demand, requesting him to provide between ₹15 lakh and ₹20 lakh for the same apartment.
He also disclosed that throughout the years, he had settled numerous debts of his father, provided financial assistance to the family after his father's business faced difficulties during the Covid-19 pandemic, and had been sending monthly support for the last nine years.
"Cut to 6 months post-marriage, now they want me to donate ₹15-20 lakh as a down payment to buy an apartment under my brother's name. I'm not sure what are their thoughts," he said.
“Just to add, I've cleared multiple debts for my father throughout, went through COVID when my father's business was severely affected. I send monthly allowance proportionate to my salary increases for the last nine years.”
Concluding his post, he inquired of fellow Reddit users: "What am I missing?"
Netizens react
The post garnered numerous comments, with many users expressing that he had already done more than sufficient for his family.
One of the most highly upvoted comments stated, "First advice ofc would be to say no."
The same commenter recommended that if he ever assisted in purchasing property, he should secure legal ownership by demanding that his name be included in the documentation.
Just insist on getting your name on the paper's of the house," one person commented.
“Your brother is an adult, he can figure out his own finances and if he cannot, he should learn to live within his means,” another said.
“Grow a spine and learn to say no. You are not your family's ATM,” a third user suggested.
Responding to the comments, the poster said, “You've wonderfully put it down..for me the most depressing thing is not the finances but the utter lack of love towards me.”