Becoming a parent is a life-altering decision, and for Jess Bolton, it’s not one she’s ready to make just yet. The 32-year-old writer and content creator from Oxford, England, has been grappling with the uncertainty of motherhood. When she shared her thoughts in an Instagram reel, she anticipated a discussion—but the sheer volume of responses, especially from parents who admitted to regretting their choice, took her by surprise.
“I don’t know whether or not I want to have kids, but whenever I talk about it on my Instagram, I’m always really drawn to the women who tell me that they regret it or that if they could go back, they wouldn’t do it again. There are a lot of them,” the 32-year-old said in her video.
Bolton conducted polls on her Instagram, where around 20 percent of parents admitted they regretted having children—not because they didn’t love them, but because they hadn’t fully grasped the extent to which their lives would change. The remaining 80 percent, however, were confident in their choice.
She believes open conversations about parenthood are crucial. “It’s important that we can all see our experiences represented, especially when it comes to something as important as the decision on whether to become a parent,” she told Newsweek. “We don’t want people to become parents if it’s not the right choice for them, for their sake and the sake of their potential children. Having more information helps us to make more informed choices.”
Take a look at the video:
The post, which has racked up over 100k views, received mixed reactions. While some women appreciated her honesty about a topic that is often ignored, others were quick to criticize her perspective.
{{/usCountry}}The post, which has racked up over 100k views, received mixed reactions. While some women appreciated her honesty about a topic that is often ignored, others were quick to criticize her perspective.
{{/usCountry}}One Instagram user shared an approach, saying, “I think a phrase that keeps me sane and not guilt-tripping myself into an answer is this: I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them.”
Another person disagreed, writing, “You’re never going to regret a life!”
One user added, “I’m 82. Not one question. I would choose to live the childfree lifestyle again.”
Bolton has faced backlash for expressing her uncertainty. “When I talk about being unsure if I want kids, I’ve been called selfish, immature, and told that motherhood is my purpose in life,” she said. “There’s a certain amount of irony there.”