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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You review: Rose Byrne delivers a tremendous performance as a mother in crisis

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You review: Mary Bornstein's drama is a feverish, uncompromising look at the toll of a woman on the verge of a breakdown.

Published on: Dec 14, 2025, 11:57:30 IST
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Nothing can prepare you for the unruly force and energy that actor Rose Byrne brings to If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, a film that aims to shake the viewer and succeeds in doing so. The Australian actor, whom you might remember from Bridesmaids, gives it her all in a full-bodied performance of a woman enduring one panic attack after another as her days merge into nights, and there's no difference after a point. You have no other choice but to follow her.

Rose Byrne's volcanic performance anchors the film, which played at International Film Festival of Kerala.
Rose Byrne's volcanic performance anchors the film, which played at International Film Festival of Kerala.

Mary Bronstein's visceral, uncompromising vision demands full attention- it is a portrait of a woman stretched to her limits, forced to maintain her composure even when she knows her life is falling apart. What can she do? Her Linda damages everything she touches.

Movie Review
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
4/5
2025-12-12T18:30:00+0000
Linda is a working mother at her wits’ end. When her ceiling literally comes crashing down on her, she is forced to face yet another crisis, staying in a motel with her young daughter while she navigates how to fix the hole in her ceiling, her child’s illness, a missing patient and a parade of people who seem incapable of helping her.
Director
Mary Bronstein 
Cast
Rose Byrne, A$AP Rocky, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Ivy Wolk, Lark White, Daniel Zolghadri, Delaney Quinn

The premise

The series of unfortunate events begins when the roof of Linda's apartment collapses, forcing her to rent a roadside motel. Her husband is out of station and is of no help whatsoever, even on call. Her young daughter (Delaney Quinn) needs her attention 24x7, as she won’t eat and must be fed through a tube. She works as a therapist, but the cruel joke that Bornstein plays out here is that Linda is herself in need of immediate therapy. Linda even seeks help from the other therapist practitioner at her company, played assiduously by Conan O’Brien.

Bornstein, working here with cinematographer Christopher Messina, is unforgiving in her depiction of this poor woman. This is a film that wants to put you in the mindspace of this woman. From the very first frame, the viewer is placed up close in a tight shot, as it remains on Byrne's unvarnished face. From there on, the filmmaker offers no easy shortcuts, no sweet flashbacks, no lazy revelations. She wants you to submit to this difficulty, to test and stretch the viewer's patience with a woman who has no wish to please.

Rose Byrne deserves all the praise (and the awards)

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a daring, merciless experiment of a film that might often come across as too intrusive and unforgiving; however, fortunately, Bornstein never lets go of the thread of empathy, even in the most horrific moments. What do we want from Linda? What must she do to get better? We cannot know her completely, and the least we can do is stay, right beside her, even if it is from a distance.

The showdown largely works due to Rose Byrne's committed performance. She is astonishing to watch as a woman with no moors, lost so completely and heartbreakingly in a patriarchal society that prefers easy answers and nods from mothers. They must take care, they must know the answers, they must smile. They must never leave the kid alone. “Just tell me what to do! Why won’t anyone tell me what to do?” Linda yells. Just the look of blank helplessness in her eyes, the way Linda still sweetly talks with her daughter amid the chase, every moment here is so vital and teeming with life. It is a towering performance in an important film that demands your complete attention.

 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Santanu Das

Santanu Das is a Senior Content Producer at Hindustan Times with over 5 years of experience, writing on films, pop culture and film festivals. He has a keen interest in writing about South Asian independent films and has covered several film festivals, including Sundance and CPH: Docx. He also brings a sharp perspective to the monthly column called The Fault in Our Stars, where he writes about a recent film/series and what stops the ‘good’ from becoming ‘great’. A gold medalist from Banaras Hindu University, Santanu completed his postgraduate studies in English from Jadavpur University. He is also a Rotten Tomatoes-certified film critic. When not watching films or speaking to celebrities, Santanu can be found reading a book. Some of his favourite films are Aparajito, Ponyo and The Double Life of Veronique. His favourite books include The Corrections, The God of Small Things and A Room of One's Own. Santanu continues to write passionately about films and celebrity culture. He brings a relatable, as well as critically informed, lens to entertainment and culture for a wide audience. Find him on LinkedIn: santanudasfilm Instagram: @santupecha

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