Where did people meet before dating apps? That is a question that hounds a lot of people who are struggling to find love in the real world. Dating apps have become a crutch that people looking for their lifetime partner are using as they struggle to connect. However, they are a boon for introverts or those who are socially awkward and find it hard to speak to new people or in front of crowds.
According to a report by Tinder, a popular online dating app, young daters value authenticity and honesty, and introverts are certainly not shy when it comes to being real in their dating bios. The term introvert appears 33% more than extrovert in Tinder bios. To support the more reserved daters to put themselves out there, Dr Chandni Tugnait, life coach and relationship expert shares some tips on how to take that first step.
Dr Chandni explains, “Introverts often find that their introversion is not adequately taken into account and respected, which leads to a greater need for attention to this personality trait. Adding this in their dating profile can provide a sense of security and counteract possible misunderstandings, as introversion and reticence can be misinterpreted as disinterest or arrogance."
He adds that introverts usually take longer to open up, confide in people and build relationships with others. However, if and when they do, these bonds are deeper and more stable.
Advantages of using dating apps for love or friendship
- The first steps of getting to know someone are easy when using a dating app. You can think and formulate responses in a more calm and peaceful manner as you can take your time and don't have to sit directly across your date. If you share a few exciting facts about yourself in your bio, you can create a good basis for conversation and avoid the awkward small talk.
- Online dating offers the opportunity to get to know the other slowly and more intimately. It can create a basis for deeper relationships, not just superficial ones. According to Dr Chandni, this slower method is healthier because introverts are not as likely to be driven by their hormones and are less likely to see their match through rose-colored glasses. This may also help you recognize red flags better!
- Online matches can be a good exercise in overcoming your typical dating hurdles and developing a routine of sorts. Even if it doesn’t work out with someone, you can still take something away from the encounter for the future and learn from it.
- Did you hit it off with your match? Great, because meaningful relationships and positive encounters with others can boost your confidence - you get feedback and compliments from others, your strengths are mirrored and you can learn that others like you just the way you are.
He adds that introverts usually take longer to open up, confide in people and build relationships with others. However, if and when they do, these bonds are deeper and more stable.
Advantages of using dating apps for love or friendship
- The first steps of getting to know someone are easy when using a dating app. You can think and formulate responses in a more calm and peaceful manner as you can take your time and don't have to sit directly across your date. If you share a few exciting facts about yourself in your bio, you can create a good basis for conversation and avoid the awkward small talk.
- Online dating offers the opportunity to get to know the other slowly and more intimately. It can create a basis for deeper relationships, not just superficial ones. According to Dr Chandni, this slower method is healthier because introverts are not as likely to be driven by their hormones and are less likely to see their match through rose-colored glasses. This may also help you recognize red flags better!
- Online matches can be a good exercise in overcoming your typical dating hurdles and developing a routine of sorts. Even if it doesn’t work out with someone, you can still take something away from the encounter for the future and learn from it.
- Did you hit it off with your match? Great, because meaningful relationships and positive encounters with others can boost your confidence - you get feedback and compliments from others, your strengths are mirrored and you can learn that others like you just the way you are.
A journey of a thousand steps begins with one. But that first step can be tough. Here are five tips that will help you overcome any self-doubt when dating online and meeting IRL.
- Always be yourself: Don't pretend to be someone you are not just so that the other person will like you. Social media gives the impression that we should all always be active and lead the most active and "Instagrammable" life, but that's not true.
- Be clear about your likes, dislikes: Eg. if your match suggests a big event for your first date, but you would actually feel much more comfortable in a more low-key setting, communicate this clearly from the start and stand up for your needs.
- Prep conversation starters: If you're worried about topics of conversation, think about open-ended questions, i.e., not yes/no questions, to ask your counterpart in advance. They can include things you would you like to know about your match, what interests them, thoughts on subjects you have in common, etc. This will get the conversation rolling because we all usually like to talk about ourselves.
- Don't cancel: Try not to cancel dates at the last minute. In psychology, unless there is a genuine reason, this is called "avoidance behaviour" and it only reinforces your insecurities. Even if it takes additional effort from your end to put yourself out there, do it! Leave your comfort zone, it's worth facing your fears. The keyword is - Practice, practice, practice.
- Create a Pre-date ritual: Find a think about a fixed ritual or routine that you do every time before a date. Because rituals have a positive effect on our well-being and can convey security. These can be quite banal things, such as a soothing shower and taking time for styling. But a certain song that gives you good vibes or a phone call with a friend can also help. There are no limits to your imagination - find something that makes YOU feel good, calms you down and takes away some of those pre-date nerves.