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Hubby has taken to strip clubs

I have had a stormy marriage from day one. My husband has taken into drinking, strip clubbing and staying out all night. If there is anything sexual then I don't know it yet...

india Updated: Jun 20, 2006 13:13 IST


Hubby's taken to alcohol, strip clubs

I got married 7 years ago in India and have two kids. Ours was a love marriage. We have been living in the US since last 8 years. We have the Indian marriage certificate. I have had a stormy marriage from day one. But I keep getting confused over the fact if divorce/separation is an option or not. Till now it was just arguments, and we would usually make up. We both dote on our kids. But now, my husband has taken into drinking, strip clubbing and staying out all night (has done the all-nighters 8-9 times in the last year, even after promising to me again and again that he won't do it)... This is how much I know. If there is more (affair or one night stands or anything sexual), then I don't know it yet. I am slowly coming to a realization that my husband is not going to make any changes in his life (even if he wants to, he can't seem to control it) and that in turn is suffocating me more and more in this marriage. It hurts my pride every time he does it and then claims that he loves me a lot. However, my main question is more legal. Can I seek a separation or a divorce here in the US? Or we will have to go back to India for it? Do we have to register our marriage here for a divorce here? How will we decide on kids, money, property, child support, alimony, etc? We both have green cards and at the moment, I am not thinking of going back to India after separation...


'Can't survive with boyfriend's family'

I am working in Delhi and earning well but my boyfriend lives in Nepal and is from a very conservative family. Once our parents also met for our marriage but as they are Jains and we are Punjabis they don't want me to be in their family but in front of their son act innocently. I feel I won't be able to survive in such a conservative family. He was earlier living here but they took him there after knowing about us. My boyfriend wants me to come with him there in a conservative situation where I have to wear only saris with covered head. I won't be even allowed to work. I am in love with him for past seven years now. Sometimes, I feel I can live without him but sometimes I feel I can't. I am confused. Please help.


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'I want sex with teen girls'

I have become a sex addict. This is not a question of worry but the thing that gets on to me is my addiction for young babes. In their teenage, I need them to have sex with me. It really is a cause of worry. Now I have an urge to have sex with girl between the age group of 14 to 17. Is everything OK with me? Though I have a wife who is 21-years-old, I need females younger than her and in different test. I am splurging unnecessarily due to this. Please help me.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
Pedophilia is a crime and there is altogether a different department to take care of the criminals. The ways and means of this department might be slow but ultimately it (the department) does catch up with the criminals. So, better mend your ways.


Sex life going for a toss

I am a 42-year-old married man. I love my wife a lot. We go through the normal trials and tribulations any married couple goes through. However, sex has been absent from past two years. It is because I have difficulty getting and maintaining an erection with her. This has messed up my confidence and comfort greatly for fear of it happening again and I don't want my wife to think it's due to her. Things could be more exciting in my sex life but I've never had a problem in this area before. I can have another female in life but no use. No stress or anything like that. What is going on?

Ramon Joseph

Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
Selective or situational impotence is not all that unknown and when it is happening with wife it calls for marriage counselling as it is a direct consequence of relationship problems. Why would 'another attractive female' proposition a married man of 10+ years? Has she already finished with all the available bachelors?