As a woman who grew up in Punjab and then moved to Mumbai, Raina Raonta, 28, says she saw a lot of gender stereotypes, especially when it came to relationships.
Today, she is utilising her time as the head of social strategy at Yuvaa (@weareyuvaa) to make Reels and other content that breaks gender stereotypes, with a series called ##UnStreeOType since March 2022.
A recent Reel she featured in, as a part of the series, addresses breaking stereotypes in relationships from both partners’ points of view, questioning issues like a woman being slut-shamed for having sexual history, but not a man; and a man being expected to pay when you eat out etc.
What’s normal?
“How do you point out problematic things in your relationships when it’s all rooted in deep conditioning? The first step is to recognise such behaviour as ‘not normal’. Only then can you point it out, and maybe change it for the better,” says Raina.
“Every relationship I had been in had a patriarchal undertone. I was slut-shamed for having dated before, and I even apologised to my then-partner for it because I thought it was wrong. Because, if your parents or siblings say the same thing that your partner is saying, then how do know what is wrong? It will all just seem normal to you. It took me a long time to understand this,” says the Bhatinda girl.
{{/usCountry}}“Every relationship I had been in had a patriarchal undertone. I was slut-shamed for having dated before, and I even apologised to my then-partner for it because I thought it was wrong. Because, if your parents or siblings say the same thing that your partner is saying, then how do know what is wrong? It will all just seem normal to you. It took me a long time to understand this,” says the Bhatinda girl.
{{/usCountry}}Self-improvement
She hasn’t always been the victim of such stereotyping, she says. Sometimes she’s been the stereotyper herself.
“There are a lot of things I have unlearnt—like the notion that a man can’t be more emotional than a woman in a relationship.”
The Reel also addresses the expectation from people for a woman to look a certain way. “People police themselves a lot. But it’s time to stop and realise that it’s all a result of conditioning,” she says.
The aim of these Reels is to empower people. “Of course, there are negative comments, hate and abuse,” Raina says. “But, there are also people tagging their partners and being appreciative that they don’t indulge in such stereotypes. And hence, recognising that these are the bare minimum when it comes to respecting your partner in a relationship.”
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From HT Brunch, September 3, 2022
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