How to deal with someone with a fragile ego? Therapist Jeffrey Meltzer shares 3 ways

Dealing with someone with a fragile ego is difficult, but not impossible. Jeffrey Meltzer shows the way to avoid a confrontation.

We can choose our friends, but unless we are extremely privileged, we cannot choose who we surround ourselves with at all times of the day. There are many individuals in our lives with whom we are at odds, and ego problems are a major cause of this.

People with a fragile ego not only make things worse for themselves, but they also tend to spoil the situation for the people around them. Taking to Instagram on August 18, Florida-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer shared three ways to best deal with them.

1. Do not take their defensiveness personally

Someone else being defensive to you does not always mean that it is on you, especially if the someone in question has an ego problem.

As Jeffrey stated, “Just because someone becomes defensive doesn't automatically mean you communicated poorly. If you immediately take their reaction personally, you may become defensive, too. And suddenly, you're in a massive argument.”

The best thing to do in the situation is to remind oneself that their defensiveness is often an attempt to protect how they see themselves. “That perspective helps you stay calm and respond without matching their intensity,” shared the therapist.

2. Observe their behaviour without absorbing it

We should try to absorb from people their best, and not their worst. Jeffrey pointed out that people with fragile egos may constantly chase validation, compete with others, or engage in unhealthy behaviours to feel better about themselves.

“Don't let them pull you into that world,” advised the therapist. “Notice the pattern for what it is without becoming judgmental or participating in it. Awareness helps you avoid getting trapped in dynamics that go against your values.”

3. Don't depend on them to celebrate your wins

When a person accomplishes something meaningful, those with a fragile ego around them may dismiss it or quickly change the subject.

“Your success might trigger feelings of inferiority that they don't know how to express,” noted Jeffrey. “Their lack of enthusiasm does not make your achievement any less impressive. So celebrate with people who are emotionally capable of being happy for you.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.

Jeffrey Meltzer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor based in Florida. He graduated with a Master's in Mental Health Counselling from the University of South Florida and has been providing therapy services for over seven years.