Love vs money: Couples argue over finances 58 times a year. Here’s how to fix that

Millennials are arguing about money twice as much as boomers. Here’s why couples keep fighting over their finances.

Talking about money in a relationship can be as nerve-wracking as defining “where things are going”. In fact, a recent survey reveals that one in three Americans (32%) feels uncomfortable discussing finances with their partner.

Financial red flags? 26% of people think their partner is bad with money.(Image by Shutterstock)

This is because nearly half (44%) fear that money talks will spark disagreements and for good reason—the average couple argues about finances 58 times a year. However, for those in cross-border relationships, where one partner lives in another country, that number jumps to 72 financial disputes annually.

Different currencies, conversion rates and money transfer fees only add to the complexity of merging finances across borders.

The great money divide: What causes tension?

The study, conducted by Talker Research on behalf of the international money app Wise, found that younger couples tend to argue more about money than older generations. Millennials, for instance, report an average of six money-related arguments per month, double the number of baby boomers.

However, across all generations, the top financial disagreements stem from:

• What qualifies as a "necessity" (43%)
• How much to spend on non-essentials like streaming services or vacations (36%)
• How much money should be saved each month (34%)

Beyond the fear of sparking an argument, different financial philosophies also make these discussions uncomfortable. About 32% of respondents said that they and their partner have opposing views on spending and saving, while 26% believe their partner is less responsible with money.

Financial issues: Money, they say, is the root of all evil. Disputes over finances are among the leading reasons why couples split.(Unsplash)

Interestingly, cultural differences play a role too—27% of those in cross-border relationships say that their attitudes toward discussing money are shaped by their upbringing and traditions.

Does financial compatibility matter in love?

While talking about money might be awkward, most people believe it is necessary for a healthy relationship. A staggering 82% of Americans surveyed agree that couples should share a similar financial philosophy.

Despite this, only 69% of couples actually feel financially aligned with their partner. “From cultural differences to individual preferences, how we manage our finances is personal, determined by how we think about the world and the things we value the most,” said Ankita D’Mello, Principal Product Manager at Wise.

“But having conversations about money with a romantic partner is important to build toward a shared financial future.” This is especially true for cross-border couples, 42% of whom say they have more financial discussions than those living in the same country.

Couples need to communicate about finances, especially early in marriage.(Shutterstock)

In fact, 73% of long-distance couples believe they should be talking about money more often to ensure smooth financial management.

The biggest financial challenges for cross-border couples

For couples navigating an international romance, money management can be especially tricky. The survey found that their top financial hurdles include:

• Keeping up with fluctuating currency exchange rates (36%)
• Finding the best platforms for sending or receiving money (36%)
• Managing the high costs of international money transfers (35%)

“For couples in cross-border relationships, the basics of splitting finances with a partner can become unnecessarily complex and expensive,” D’Mello added. “To remove this added pressure from their relationship, it’s crucial for cross-border couples to find financial tools that cater specifically to their international money needs.”

How to navigate the money talk without the stress

If you are hesitant to talk finances with your significant other, you are not alone. Here are some expert-backed tips to help you approach the topic with ease:

1. Make it a judgment-free zone – Set the expectation that neither partner should feel ashamed of their financial past or current situation.
2. Start with shared goals – Instead of focusing on spending habits, talk about financial aspirations: saving for a trip, buying a home, or investing in the future.
3. Find a system that works for both of you – Whether it’s splitting expenses equally, proportionally, or maintaining separate finances, the key is mutual agreement.
4. Use the right financial tools – Apps like Wise can help cross-border couples manage international transactions efficiently and transparently.
5. Make it a regular conversation – Discussing money shouldn’t be reserved for moments of crisis. Setting aside time each month to check in on financial goals can help prevent conflicts down the road.

Money is deeply personal and navigating financial conversations in relationships is not always easy but whether you are in the same city or a different country, transparency and alignment on money matters can strengthen your bond. D’Mello said, “By learning about your partner’s attitude toward money and working together to find financial strategies that work for both of you, couples can turn traditionally difficult conversations into opportunities to grow closer.”

So, the next time you hesitate to bring up finances with your partner, remember—you are not just talking about money. You are building a foundation for a shared future.